Pick of the week November 21, 2008
Born of the Spirit
"Just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit.
John 3:8 NLT
"
Who died on November 22, 1963?
"Many will correctly answer, ""President John F. Kennedy."" But also on that day another person died who was mightier in God's kingdom. His name was C. S. Lewis.
His initials stood for Clive Staples, but to his friends he was known as "Jack." Born near Belfast, Ireland, in 1898, he was raised as an Anglican. But at the age of ten his world was shaken when his mother died of cancer. Jack wanted nothing to do with a God so cruel as to take his mother. By his early teenage years he had become an atheist.
Jack's spiritual pilgrimage back to God began in 1926 with a conversation with a cynical friend whose belief in the Trinity challenged Lewis' atheistic presuppositions.
Through the influence of various philosophers he read and conversations with his intellectual colleagues, including J. R. R. Tolkien, he began to realize that an absolute Spirit or God existed and that the events of the Bible had really happened.
By 1931, he had passed from merely believing in God to trusting in him as his Savior.
In 1941, Lewis burst on the literary scene with The Screwtape Letters. Books then began to flow from his pen at an amazing rate.
C. S. Lewis is considered the most influential Christian author of the twentieth century—quite a leap from the atheism of his youth.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Pick of the week 11/14/08
Judas
by Max Lucado
If God has called you to be a Martha, then serve! Remind the rest of us that there is evangelism in feeding the poor and there is worship in nursing the sick.
If God has called you to be a Mary, then worship! Remind the rest of us that we don't have to be busy to be holy. Urge us with your example to put down our clipboards and megaphones and be quiet in worship.
If God has called you to be a Lazarus, then testify. Remind the rest of us that we, too, have a story to tell. We, too, have neighbors who are lost. We, too, have died and been resurrected.
Each of us has our place at the table.
Except one. There was one at Martha's house who didn't find his place. Though he had been near Jesus longer than any of the others, he was furthest in his faith. His name was Judas. He was a thief. When Mary poured the perfume he feigned spirituality. "The perfume could have been sold and given to the poor," he said. But Jesus knew Judas's heart, and Jesus defended Mary's worship. Years later, John, too, knew Judas's heart, and John explained that Judas was a thief (John 12:6). And all these years he had been dipping his hand in the treasury. The reason he wanted the perfume to be sold and the money put in the treasury was so that he could get his hands on it.
What a sad ending to a beautiful story. But what an appropriate ending. For in every church there are those like Martha who take time to serve. There are those like Mary who take time to worship. There are those like Lazarus who take time to testify.
And there are those like Judas who take, take, take, and never give in return. Are you a Judas? I ask the question carefully, yet honestly. Are you near Christ but far from his heart? Are you at the dinner with a sour soul? Are you always criticizing the gifts of others yet seldom, if ever, giving your own? Are you benefiting from the church while never giving to it? Do others give sacrificially while you give miserly? Are you a Judas?
Do you take, take, take, and never give? If so, you are the Judas in this story.
If you are a Martha, be strengthened. God sees your service.
If you are a Mary, be encouraged. God receives your worship.
If you are a Lazarus, be strong. God honors your conviction.
But if you are a Judas, be warned. God sees your selfishness.
From
Cast of Characters
By Max Lucado
Judas
by Max Lucado
If God has called you to be a Martha, then serve! Remind the rest of us that there is evangelism in feeding the poor and there is worship in nursing the sick.
If God has called you to be a Mary, then worship! Remind the rest of us that we don't have to be busy to be holy. Urge us with your example to put down our clipboards and megaphones and be quiet in worship.
If God has called you to be a Lazarus, then testify. Remind the rest of us that we, too, have a story to tell. We, too, have neighbors who are lost. We, too, have died and been resurrected.
Each of us has our place at the table.
Except one. There was one at Martha's house who didn't find his place. Though he had been near Jesus longer than any of the others, he was furthest in his faith. His name was Judas. He was a thief. When Mary poured the perfume he feigned spirituality. "The perfume could have been sold and given to the poor," he said. But Jesus knew Judas's heart, and Jesus defended Mary's worship. Years later, John, too, knew Judas's heart, and John explained that Judas was a thief (John 12:6). And all these years he had been dipping his hand in the treasury. The reason he wanted the perfume to be sold and the money put in the treasury was so that he could get his hands on it.
What a sad ending to a beautiful story. But what an appropriate ending. For in every church there are those like Martha who take time to serve. There are those like Mary who take time to worship. There are those like Lazarus who take time to testify.
And there are those like Judas who take, take, take, and never give in return. Are you a Judas? I ask the question carefully, yet honestly. Are you near Christ but far from his heart? Are you at the dinner with a sour soul? Are you always criticizing the gifts of others yet seldom, if ever, giving your own? Are you benefiting from the church while never giving to it? Do others give sacrificially while you give miserly? Are you a Judas?
Do you take, take, take, and never give? If so, you are the Judas in this story.
If you are a Martha, be strengthened. God sees your service.
If you are a Mary, be encouraged. God receives your worship.
If you are a Lazarus, be strong. God honors your conviction.
But if you are a Judas, be warned. God sees your selfishness.
From
Cast of Characters
By Max Lucado
Thursday, November 06, 2008
November 6, 2008
He Can Heal the Hurt
Grudge is one of those words that defines itself. Its very sound betrays its meaning. Say it slowly: “Grr-uuuud-ge.” It starts with a growl. “Grr …” Like a bear with bad breath coming out of hibernation or a mangy mongrel defending his bone in an alley. “Grrr …”
Remove a GR from the word grudge and replace it with SL and you have the junk that grudge bearers trudge through. Sludge. Black, thick, ankle-deep resentment that steals the bounce from the step. No joyful skips through the meadows. No healthy hikes up the mountain. Just day after day of walking into the storm, shoulders bent against the wind, and feet dragging through all the muck life has delivered.
Is this the way you are coping with your hurts? Are you allowing your hurts to turn into hates? If so, ask yourself: Is it working? Has your hatred done you any good? Has your resentment brought you any relief, any peace? Has it granted you any joy?
Let’s say you get even. Let’s say you get him back. Let’s say she gets what she deserves. Let’s say your fantasy of fury runs its ferocious course and you return all your pain with interest. Imagine yourself standing over the corpse of the one you have hated. Will you now be free?
The writer of the following letter thought she would be. She thought her revenge would bring release. But she learned otherwise.
I caught my husband making love to another woman. He swore it would never happen again. He begged me to forgive him, but I could not—would not. I was so bitter and so incapable of swallowing my pride that I could think of nothing but revenge. I was going to make him pay and pay dearly. I’d have my pound of flesh.
I filed for divorce, even though my children begged me not to. Even after the divorce, my husband tried for two years to win me back. I refused to have anything to do with him. He had struck first; now I was striking back. All I wanted was to make him pay.
Finally he gave up and married a lovely young widow with a couple of small children. He began rebuilding his life—without me. I see them occasionally, and he looks so happy. They all do. And here I am—a lonely, old, miserable woman who allowed her selfish pride and foolish stubbornness to ruin her life.
Unfaithfulness is wrong. Revenge is bad. But the worst part of all is that, without forgiveness, bitterness is all that is left. The state of your heart dictates whether you harbor a grudge or give grace, seek self-pity or seek Christ, drink human misery or taste God’s mercy.
No wonder, then, the wise man begs, “Above all else, guard your heart.”
David’s prayer should be ours: “Create in me a pure heart, O God.”
by: Max Lucado --
He Can Heal the Hurt
Grudge is one of those words that defines itself. Its very sound betrays its meaning. Say it slowly: “Grr-uuuud-ge.” It starts with a growl. “Grr …” Like a bear with bad breath coming out of hibernation or a mangy mongrel defending his bone in an alley. “Grrr …”
Remove a GR from the word grudge and replace it with SL and you have the junk that grudge bearers trudge through. Sludge. Black, thick, ankle-deep resentment that steals the bounce from the step. No joyful skips through the meadows. No healthy hikes up the mountain. Just day after day of walking into the storm, shoulders bent against the wind, and feet dragging through all the muck life has delivered.
Is this the way you are coping with your hurts? Are you allowing your hurts to turn into hates? If so, ask yourself: Is it working? Has your hatred done you any good? Has your resentment brought you any relief, any peace? Has it granted you any joy?
Let’s say you get even. Let’s say you get him back. Let’s say she gets what she deserves. Let’s say your fantasy of fury runs its ferocious course and you return all your pain with interest. Imagine yourself standing over the corpse of the one you have hated. Will you now be free?
The writer of the following letter thought she would be. She thought her revenge would bring release. But she learned otherwise.
I caught my husband making love to another woman. He swore it would never happen again. He begged me to forgive him, but I could not—would not. I was so bitter and so incapable of swallowing my pride that I could think of nothing but revenge. I was going to make him pay and pay dearly. I’d have my pound of flesh.
I filed for divorce, even though my children begged me not to. Even after the divorce, my husband tried for two years to win me back. I refused to have anything to do with him. He had struck first; now I was striking back. All I wanted was to make him pay.
Finally he gave up and married a lovely young widow with a couple of small children. He began rebuilding his life—without me. I see them occasionally, and he looks so happy. They all do. And here I am—a lonely, old, miserable woman who allowed her selfish pride and foolish stubbornness to ruin her life.
Unfaithfulness is wrong. Revenge is bad. But the worst part of all is that, without forgiveness, bitterness is all that is left. The state of your heart dictates whether you harbor a grudge or give grace, seek self-pity or seek Christ, drink human misery or taste God’s mercy.
No wonder, then, the wise man begs, “Above all else, guard your heart.”
David’s prayer should be ours: “Create in me a pure heart, O God.”
by: Max Lucado --
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
November 5, 2008
The Presidential Prayer Team is pleased to commit itself and it’s nearly 500,000 members to pray for the newly elected President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.
Calling in his acceptance speech for a new spirit of patriotism, service and sacrifice from the American people, President-Elect Obama swept to victory over Republican John McCain as the first African-American to hold the nation’s highest political office.
Our faithful prayers for President-Elect Obama and Vice President-Elect Joe Biden are desperately needed. Their new administration faces the challenges of a struggling economy, active wars against terrorism in Iraq and Afghanistan, and energy and environmental concerns - all perhaps unprecedented in a generation. With I Timothy 2:1-2 as our biblical mandate, The Presidential Prayer Team is dedicated to praying for our new president’s wisdom, protection and success as he faces these issues, and many more, over the next four years
Today, we are launching a countdown in prayer from Election to Inauguration for President-Elect Obama! It’s called 77 Days of Prayer for our New President, and I encourage you to please sign up for this prayer initiative now using the link below.
http://www.presidentialprayerteam.org/site/PageServer?pagename=77days_signup&autologin=true&JServSessionIdr001=cgj92emnm4.app26a
The Presidential Prayer Team is pleased to commit itself and it’s nearly 500,000 members to pray for the newly elected President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.
Calling in his acceptance speech for a new spirit of patriotism, service and sacrifice from the American people, President-Elect Obama swept to victory over Republican John McCain as the first African-American to hold the nation’s highest political office.
Our faithful prayers for President-Elect Obama and Vice President-Elect Joe Biden are desperately needed. Their new administration faces the challenges of a struggling economy, active wars against terrorism in Iraq and Afghanistan, and energy and environmental concerns - all perhaps unprecedented in a generation. With I Timothy 2:1-2 as our biblical mandate, The Presidential Prayer Team is dedicated to praying for our new president’s wisdom, protection and success as he faces these issues, and many more, over the next four years
Today, we are launching a countdown in prayer from Election to Inauguration for President-Elect Obama! It’s called 77 Days of Prayer for our New President, and I encourage you to please sign up for this prayer initiative now using the link below.
http://www.presidentialprayerteam.org/site/PageServer?pagename=77days_signup&autologin=true&JServSessionIdr001=cgj92emnm4.app26a
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
From the daily blog of Dave Burchette
""Confessions of a Bad Christian""
Thoughts On Election Day
This has been a long and contentious process. I have been saddened by the tone of the discourse but not surprised. Today the American public will speak. I try to avoid partisan politics in this space because it polarizes and diverts readers away from the gospel of Jesus Christ.
No matter who wins I am making a commitment today. I am going to pray for the leaders that are chosen. I may not agree with the choice. But I learned a valuable lesson earlier in my journey with Jesus. When President Bill Clinton was elected in 1990 I was extremely unhappy.
I did not pray for Bill Clinton during most of his Presidency. I did not respect him as the authority my sovereign God allowed to be in power. I said ugly things about him. In short, I sinned in my spirit and with my speech. During that time I put my trust in politics and not in God. I will not make that mistake again. I have matured in my faith since then. I am more aware of who I am in Christ and that my trust is in God and not in government. That does not mean I will be apathetic.
For the past eight years I have heard incredibly ugly things said about President Bush. I completely understand that people disagreed with some or even all of his policies. But the hate was mind boggling. I will not be a part of that no matter who wins. Mr.Bush will be judged by history and by God. The winner of this election will be judged by history and by God. I may disagree with the policies of the next president but I will do my best to stick to policy and not engage in personal attack.
I was wrapped up in thought about the election on Sunday morning when a surprise call came with an exciting ministry opportunity. God gently reminded me that nothing changes in what I am called to do on the morning of November 5th.
I want to spend the rest of my days passionately communicating that all truth is in grace and in grace is all truth. That is calling and nothing can keep me from that task.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3, NLT)
So my trust is in God and my hope is in Jesus.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So do not be attracted by strange, new ideas. Your strength comes from God’s grace…(Hebrews 13, NLT)
Amen. Whether you are happy or sad at the end of the day one thing is true. Nothing changes in the policies of God’s Word.
""Confessions of a Bad Christian""
Thoughts On Election Day
This has been a long and contentious process. I have been saddened by the tone of the discourse but not surprised. Today the American public will speak. I try to avoid partisan politics in this space because it polarizes and diverts readers away from the gospel of Jesus Christ.
No matter who wins I am making a commitment today. I am going to pray for the leaders that are chosen. I may not agree with the choice. But I learned a valuable lesson earlier in my journey with Jesus. When President Bill Clinton was elected in 1990 I was extremely unhappy.
I did not pray for Bill Clinton during most of his Presidency. I did not respect him as the authority my sovereign God allowed to be in power. I said ugly things about him. In short, I sinned in my spirit and with my speech. During that time I put my trust in politics and not in God. I will not make that mistake again. I have matured in my faith since then. I am more aware of who I am in Christ and that my trust is in God and not in government. That does not mean I will be apathetic.
For the past eight years I have heard incredibly ugly things said about President Bush. I completely understand that people disagreed with some or even all of his policies. But the hate was mind boggling. I will not be a part of that no matter who wins. Mr.Bush will be judged by history and by God. The winner of this election will be judged by history and by God. I may disagree with the policies of the next president but I will do my best to stick to policy and not engage in personal attack.
I was wrapped up in thought about the election on Sunday morning when a surprise call came with an exciting ministry opportunity. God gently reminded me that nothing changes in what I am called to do on the morning of November 5th.
I want to spend the rest of my days passionately communicating that all truth is in grace and in grace is all truth. That is calling and nothing can keep me from that task.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3, NLT)
So my trust is in God and my hope is in Jesus.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So do not be attracted by strange, new ideas. Your strength comes from God’s grace…(Hebrews 13, NLT)
Amen. Whether you are happy or sad at the end of the day one thing is true. Nothing changes in the policies of God’s Word.
Friday, October 31, 2008
October 31, 2008
Pick of the week
Last Respects
One day not too long ago the employees of a large company in St. Louis, Missouri returned from their lunch break and were greeted with a sign on the front door. The sign said: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym."
At first everyone was sad to hear that one of their colleagues had died, but after a while they started getting curious about who this person might be.
The excitement grew as the employees arrived at the gym to pay their last respects. Everyone wondered: "Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he's no longer here!"
One by one the employees got closer to the coffin and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood over the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
Pick of the week
Last Respects
One day not too long ago the employees of a large company in St. Louis, Missouri returned from their lunch break and were greeted with a sign on the front door. The sign said: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym."
At first everyone was sad to hear that one of their colleagues had died, but after a while they started getting curious about who this person might be.
The excitement grew as the employees arrived at the gym to pay their last respects. Everyone wondered: "Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he's no longer here!"
One by one the employees got closer to the coffin and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood over the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
Friday, October 17, 2008
October 17, 2008
Pick of the week
Your Place in God's Band
by Max Lucado
Two of my teenage years were spent carrying a tuba in my high school marching band. My mom wanted me to learn to read music, and the choir was full while the band was a tuba-tooter short, so I signed up. Not necessarily what you would describe as a call from God, but it wasn't a wasted experience either.
I had a date with a twirler.
I learned to paint white shoe polish on school buses.
And I learned some facts about harmony that I'll pass on to you.
I marched next to the bass-drum player. What a great sound. Boom. Boom. Boom. Deep, cavernous, thundering.
And at the end of my flank marched the flute section. Oh, how their music soared. Whispering, lifting, rising into the clouds.
Ahead of me, at the front of my line, was our first-chair trumpet. He could raise the spirit. He could raise the flag. He could have raised the roof on the stadium if we'd had one.
The soft flute
needs
the brash trumpet
needs
the steady drum
needs
the soft flute
needs
the brash trumpet.
Get the idea? The operative word is need. They need each other.
By themselves they make music. But together, they make magic.
Now, what I saw two decades ago in the band, I see today in the church. We need each other. Not all of us play the same instrument. Some believers are lofty, and others are solid. Some keep the pace while others lead the band. Not all of us make the same sound. Some are soft, and others are loud. And not all of us have the same ability. But each of us has a place.
Some play the drums (like Martha).
Some play the flute (like Mary).
And others sound the trumpet (like Lazarus).
Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were like family to Jesus. After the Lord raised Lazarus from the dead, they decided to give a dinner for Jesus. They decided to honor him by having a party on his behalf (see John 12:2).
They didn't argue over the best seat. They didn't resent each other's abilities. They didn't try to outdo each other. All three worked together with one purpose. But each one fulfilled that purpose in his or her unique manner. Martha served; she always kept everyone in step. Mary worshiped; she anointed her Lord with an extravagant gift, and its aroma filled the air. Lazarus had a story to tell, and he was ready to tell it.
Three people, each one with a different skill, a different ability. But each one of equal value.
Pick of the week
Your Place in God's Band
by Max Lucado
Two of my teenage years were spent carrying a tuba in my high school marching band. My mom wanted me to learn to read music, and the choir was full while the band was a tuba-tooter short, so I signed up. Not necessarily what you would describe as a call from God, but it wasn't a wasted experience either.
I had a date with a twirler.
I learned to paint white shoe polish on school buses.
And I learned some facts about harmony that I'll pass on to you.
I marched next to the bass-drum player. What a great sound. Boom. Boom. Boom. Deep, cavernous, thundering.
And at the end of my flank marched the flute section. Oh, how their music soared. Whispering, lifting, rising into the clouds.
Ahead of me, at the front of my line, was our first-chair trumpet. He could raise the spirit. He could raise the flag. He could have raised the roof on the stadium if we'd had one.
The soft flute
needs
the brash trumpet
needs
the steady drum
needs
the soft flute
needs
the brash trumpet.
Get the idea? The operative word is need. They need each other.
By themselves they make music. But together, they make magic.
Now, what I saw two decades ago in the band, I see today in the church. We need each other. Not all of us play the same instrument. Some believers are lofty, and others are solid. Some keep the pace while others lead the band. Not all of us make the same sound. Some are soft, and others are loud. And not all of us have the same ability. But each of us has a place.
Some play the drums (like Martha).
Some play the flute (like Mary).
And others sound the trumpet (like Lazarus).
Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were like family to Jesus. After the Lord raised Lazarus from the dead, they decided to give a dinner for Jesus. They decided to honor him by having a party on his behalf (see John 12:2).
They didn't argue over the best seat. They didn't resent each other's abilities. They didn't try to outdo each other. All three worked together with one purpose. But each one fulfilled that purpose in his or her unique manner. Martha served; she always kept everyone in step. Mary worshiped; she anointed her Lord with an extravagant gift, and its aroma filled the air. Lazarus had a story to tell, and he was ready to tell it.
Three people, each one with a different skill, a different ability. But each one of equal value.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Pick of the week 09/20/08
He Wasn't Cured But He Was Healed
Tony Compolo tells a story about being in a church in
Oregon where he was asked to pray for a man who had cancer.
Compolo prayed boldly for the man's healing. That next week
he got a telephone call from the man's wife. She said, "You
prayed for my husband. He had cancer." Compolo thought when
he heard her use the past tense verb that his cancer had been
eradicated! But before he could think much about it she said,
"He died." Compolo felt terrible.
But she continued, "Don't feel bad. When he came into that
church that Sunday he was filled with anger. He knew he was
going to be dead in a short period of time, and he hated God.
He was 58 years old, and he wanted to see his children and
grandchildren grow up. He was angry that this all-powerful
God didn't take away his sickness and heal him. He would
lie in bed and curse God. The more his anger grew towards
God, the more miserable he was to everybody around him.
It was an awful thing to be in his presence.
But the lady told Compolo, "After you prayed for him, a peace
had come over him and a joy had come into him. Tony, the
last three days have been the best days of our lives. We've
sung. We've laughed. We've read Scripture. We prayed. Oh,
they've been wonderful days. And I called to thank you for
laying your hands on him and praying for healing."
And then she said something incredibly profound. She said,
"He wasn't cured, but he was healed."
He Wasn't Cured But He Was Healed
Tony Compolo tells a story about being in a church in
Oregon where he was asked to pray for a man who had cancer.
Compolo prayed boldly for the man's healing. That next week
he got a telephone call from the man's wife. She said, "You
prayed for my husband. He had cancer." Compolo thought when
he heard her use the past tense verb that his cancer had been
eradicated! But before he could think much about it she said,
"He died." Compolo felt terrible.
But she continued, "Don't feel bad. When he came into that
church that Sunday he was filled with anger. He knew he was
going to be dead in a short period of time, and he hated God.
He was 58 years old, and he wanted to see his children and
grandchildren grow up. He was angry that this all-powerful
God didn't take away his sickness and heal him. He would
lie in bed and curse God. The more his anger grew towards
God, the more miserable he was to everybody around him.
It was an awful thing to be in his presence.
But the lady told Compolo, "After you prayed for him, a peace
had come over him and a joy had come into him. Tony, the
last three days have been the best days of our lives. We've
sung. We've laughed. We've read Scripture. We prayed. Oh,
they've been wonderful days. And I called to thank you for
laying your hands on him and praying for healing."
And then she said something incredibly profound. She said,
"He wasn't cured, but he was healed."
Friday, September 12, 2008
September 12, 2008
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
September 12, 2008
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
Friday, September 05, 2008
Pick of the week September 6, 2008
The Top 5 Kitchen Signs seen in my House
#5 I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day!
#4 Ring Bell for Maid Service... If no answer do it yourself!
#3 If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
#2 My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines.
AND
#1 If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
The Top 5 Kitchen Signs seen in my House
#5 I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day!
#4 Ring Bell for Maid Service... If no answer do it yourself!
#3 If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
#2 My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines.
AND
#1 If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
Friday, August 22, 2008
August 22, 2008
Pick of the week
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
~ Every Senator or Congressman running for President
Try that at your job and tell me how it works out.
Pick of the week
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
~ Every Senator or Congressman running for President
Try that at your job and tell me how it works out.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Pick of the week 08/02/08
this was written by a gentleman named Bob Perks and is Awesome.
Easy as 1, 2, 3
Easy as one two, three.
I am always drawn to those words.
Whenever I am about to begin a new project in my life, I look for the quickest way to get it done.
If I am fixing the sink, I choose the parts that say, "Easy as one, two, three."
If I am staining the deck, I scan the aisles for the can that says "Easy as 1,2,3."
If I am adding a storm door to my house, I want to find the one that says, "So easy anyone can do it Easy as 1,2,3."
There's something about the number three. If I go to the grocery store and I need to pick up more than three items I have to write them down. I can always remember three, but four or more get lost.
I can remember the first steps my boys took, "one, two, three."
Then there are the memories of teaching them how to ride a bike.
"I'll walk along side of you and when I count to three, I'm going to let go," I told them.
"One...two...three..." and before I knew it they were driving cars.
As easy as one, two, three they were gone.
Most of my life I have always had one dog. I couldn't't even imagine having more. That is until we had Ricky and Lucy. Two of the greatest dogs a guy could have.
"Wouldn't't three be even greater?" I asked my wife.
"Not until we get a bigger house," she replied.
So, I built and addition onto the one we had.
I felt like a child asking, "Now can we get another dog?"
I found out after a few years of talking about it that she never thought I was serious.
Imagine that. Talking about something for years and one wouldn't't be taken seriously.
How many years? You guessed it...three.
There it was again.
Well, this past Father's Day my wife came home with another dog. I call him Phil.
Having three dogs is all I ever imagined it to be and more.
So, it would appear to be obvious that three would have to be my lucky number, my favorite roll of the dice, the number I'd place a bet on or the horse I'd pick in a race.
It was until recently.
It was a normal phone call I thought, from my friend. I hear from him only a few times a year, but for some reason I expected to hear his voice when he called that day.
"Well, it's about time!" I said when I answered the phone. "I looked at the caller ID and thought, I think I know that number. Don't tell me...Oh, yes...Jim."
There was silence.
"Hey, are you there?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm here," he said quietly.
"Do you have a cold? You sound like you're losing your voice or something."
"No. It's not a cold."
I rambled on for a few more minutes and suddenly realized that I was doing all of the talking.
"What's going on? You never let me talk this long."
"Bob, I've got something to tell you."
I waited. He hesitated a bit longer and finally said, "I've been ill. They say I'm dying."
There was a deep silence that felt like my heart stopped and I suddenly went deaf. There was a void in the conversation that no proper words could fill.
Then he said, "They give me three months."
How odd that my first reaction was, "It can't be. Three is my favorite number."
How perfectly selfish and stupid. Why would I think that at this time?
He's dying and I'm upset because they chose to tell him he had three months. Why not four? Five or six are good numbers, too.
I realized afterwards that three was perfection to me. Everything about that number meant happy things in my life. Nobody should make three a bad number.
The truth is it is just a number.
There is power in one. There is friendship and love in two. In the Bible, the number three often times reflects divine perfection.
Okay, he could have it. Divine perfection. The sum of all he was, all I ever knew him to be as a friend, a husband and a father could be described as divinely perfect.
I spoke to Jim two more times before he died. Yes, three in all.
He died on the third of the month just three days shy of his three month prognosis.
The obituary said he was the father of three.
Losing him is difficult. Remembering him...easy as one, two, three.
this was written by a gentleman named Bob Perks and is Awesome.
Easy as 1, 2, 3
Easy as one two, three.
I am always drawn to those words.
Whenever I am about to begin a new project in my life, I look for the quickest way to get it done.
If I am fixing the sink, I choose the parts that say, "Easy as one, two, three."
If I am staining the deck, I scan the aisles for the can that says "Easy as 1,2,3."
If I am adding a storm door to my house, I want to find the one that says, "So easy anyone can do it Easy as 1,2,3."
There's something about the number three. If I go to the grocery store and I need to pick up more than three items I have to write them down. I can always remember three, but four or more get lost.
I can remember the first steps my boys took, "one, two, three."
Then there are the memories of teaching them how to ride a bike.
"I'll walk along side of you and when I count to three, I'm going to let go," I told them.
"One...two...three..." and before I knew it they were driving cars.
As easy as one, two, three they were gone.
Most of my life I have always had one dog. I couldn't't even imagine having more. That is until we had Ricky and Lucy. Two of the greatest dogs a guy could have.
"Wouldn't't three be even greater?" I asked my wife.
"Not until we get a bigger house," she replied.
So, I built and addition onto the one we had.
I felt like a child asking, "Now can we get another dog?"
I found out after a few years of talking about it that she never thought I was serious.
Imagine that. Talking about something for years and one wouldn't't be taken seriously.
How many years? You guessed it...three.
There it was again.
Well, this past Father's Day my wife came home with another dog. I call him Phil.
Having three dogs is all I ever imagined it to be and more.
So, it would appear to be obvious that three would have to be my lucky number, my favorite roll of the dice, the number I'd place a bet on or the horse I'd pick in a race.
It was until recently.
It was a normal phone call I thought, from my friend. I hear from him only a few times a year, but for some reason I expected to hear his voice when he called that day.
"Well, it's about time!" I said when I answered the phone. "I looked at the caller ID and thought, I think I know that number. Don't tell me...Oh, yes...Jim."
There was silence.
"Hey, are you there?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm here," he said quietly.
"Do you have a cold? You sound like you're losing your voice or something."
"No. It's not a cold."
I rambled on for a few more minutes and suddenly realized that I was doing all of the talking.
"What's going on? You never let me talk this long."
"Bob, I've got something to tell you."
I waited. He hesitated a bit longer and finally said, "I've been ill. They say I'm dying."
There was a deep silence that felt like my heart stopped and I suddenly went deaf. There was a void in the conversation that no proper words could fill.
Then he said, "They give me three months."
How odd that my first reaction was, "It can't be. Three is my favorite number."
How perfectly selfish and stupid. Why would I think that at this time?
He's dying and I'm upset because they chose to tell him he had three months. Why not four? Five or six are good numbers, too.
I realized afterwards that three was perfection to me. Everything about that number meant happy things in my life. Nobody should make three a bad number.
The truth is it is just a number.
There is power in one. There is friendship and love in two. In the Bible, the number three often times reflects divine perfection.
Okay, he could have it. Divine perfection. The sum of all he was, all I ever knew him to be as a friend, a husband and a father could be described as divinely perfect.
I spoke to Jim two more times before he died. Yes, three in all.
He died on the third of the month just three days shy of his three month prognosis.
The obituary said he was the father of three.
Losing him is difficult. Remembering him...easy as one, two, three.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
July 23, 2008
Moments that take your breath away.
Last night I heard one of my favorite sermons delivered by my friend Michael Thames who is the pastor at Pine Hill Friends Meeting. He shared with everyone that Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away. Well, he actually used the quote from the movie “Hitch” that said “drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
It got me to “ponder” all of the many moments I have had in my life….like the moment I proposed to my wife Jennifer, or all 3 times she told me we were going to have a baby, the birth of my children, the stories that are shared during Sharathon on how God has used WBFJ to bless your life, and I could be here for hours listing all the Moments that have taken my breath. How about you? What are some of your moments?
There are 2 important breaths you will take in your life, one is your first breath when the doctor slaps your naked behind……and the other is your very last breath. When that final breath comes, will you be ready to embrace it knowing that you will spend eternity in Heaven? You can if you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. I can promise you that when you ask God to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart it will be one of those moments that take your breath away. To use one more quote from the movie Hitch, “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
Moments that take your breath away.
Last night I heard one of my favorite sermons delivered by my friend Michael Thames who is the pastor at Pine Hill Friends Meeting. He shared with everyone that Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away. Well, he actually used the quote from the movie “Hitch” that said “drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
It got me to “ponder” all of the many moments I have had in my life….like the moment I proposed to my wife Jennifer, or all 3 times she told me we were going to have a baby, the birth of my children, the stories that are shared during Sharathon on how God has used WBFJ to bless your life, and I could be here for hours listing all the Moments that have taken my breath. How about you? What are some of your moments?
There are 2 important breaths you will take in your life, one is your first breath when the doctor slaps your naked behind……and the other is your very last breath. When that final breath comes, will you be ready to embrace it knowing that you will spend eternity in Heaven? You can if you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. I can promise you that when you ask God to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart it will be one of those moments that take your breath away. To use one more quote from the movie Hitch, “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
July 16, 2008
Four Seasons of a Tree
Don't judge a life by one difficult season.
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no - it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are - and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life - can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Four Seasons of a Tree
Don't judge a life by one difficult season.
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no - it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are - and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life - can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Pick of the week July 5th, 2008
I want to share an experience I had this past weekend with you.
I attended a church service in the Chapel of Camp Lejeune - Marine Military Base in NC. It touched me deeply and brought me to tears.
To be in a service with our troops in their uniforms praising God with hands held high and voice ringing our to worship the God of the Universe was overwhelming. Then one Marine had a prayer request for his fiancée and then asked prayer for himself and his walk with Christ and desire to go deeper with God. I was more than blessed to be there.
Then I went to lunch with the Chaplain and his family - he had done 2 tours in Iraq - he was one of the first that went in at the beginning of the war and then another time.
He shared with me that the troops are hungry for God and seeking Jesus and when they find Him that become not just saved but solded out for Christ. And he sees them come and go alot on the base but when they return to the states they keep walking with Christ. They are truly changed with a deep desire to follow Jesus.
He said you do not hear this in the media but this is real and this is what is happening with our men and women who live in harms way daily fighting not only for our freedoms and other nations' freedoms but they are also fighting against terrorism.
I want to encourage and challenge each of you - go to a military base in your area or near you(we have 8 bases in NC) and attend a church service. You will be changed and it will change the way you pray for our troops.
Our prayers for them are being answered daily - daily they are finding Jesus and they are being changed.
Tomorrow is the 232nd Birthday of our Beloved America - wear Red, White, and Blue, fly your flag, pray a prayer of thanksgiving for our nation and cover our troops and their families who make the ultimate sacrifice for you and I daily.
God bless you all and may all Americans and our nation bless and honor God for has truly blessed America,
Linda Stone
NC State Coordinator - NDP
I want to share an experience I had this past weekend with you.
I attended a church service in the Chapel of Camp Lejeune - Marine Military Base in NC. It touched me deeply and brought me to tears.
To be in a service with our troops in their uniforms praising God with hands held high and voice ringing our to worship the God of the Universe was overwhelming. Then one Marine had a prayer request for his fiancée and then asked prayer for himself and his walk with Christ and desire to go deeper with God. I was more than blessed to be there.
Then I went to lunch with the Chaplain and his family - he had done 2 tours in Iraq - he was one of the first that went in at the beginning of the war and then another time.
He shared with me that the troops are hungry for God and seeking Jesus and when they find Him that become not just saved but solded out for Christ. And he sees them come and go alot on the base but when they return to the states they keep walking with Christ. They are truly changed with a deep desire to follow Jesus.
He said you do not hear this in the media but this is real and this is what is happening with our men and women who live in harms way daily fighting not only for our freedoms and other nations' freedoms but they are also fighting against terrorism.
I want to encourage and challenge each of you - go to a military base in your area or near you(we have 8 bases in NC) and attend a church service. You will be changed and it will change the way you pray for our troops.
Our prayers for them are being answered daily - daily they are finding Jesus and they are being changed.
Tomorrow is the 232nd Birthday of our Beloved America - wear Red, White, and Blue, fly your flag, pray a prayer of thanksgiving for our nation and cover our troops and their families who make the ultimate sacrifice for you and I daily.
God bless you all and may all Americans and our nation bless and honor God for has truly blessed America,
Linda Stone
NC State Coordinator - NDP
Friday, June 27, 2008
Pick of the week June 28, 2008
Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
Friday, June 20, 2008
pick of the week June 20, 08
Blind Bus Passenger
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind.
Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth that her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver,"Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For, although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe -- the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
God watches over us in just the same way. We may not know He is present. We may not be able to see His face, but He is there nonetheless. Be blessed in this thought: "God Loves You -- even when you are not looking."
Blind Bus Passenger
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind.
Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth that her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver,"Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For, although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe -- the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
God watches over us in just the same way. We may not know He is present. We may not be able to see His face, but He is there nonetheless. Be blessed in this thought: "God Loves You -- even when you are not looking."
Friday, June 13, 2008
Pick of the Week
What Makes A Dad
God took the Strength of a Mountain,
The Majesty of a tree,
The Warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of an eagle's filght.
The jou of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
The God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it....Dad.
Hapy Father's Day!
What Makes A Dad
God took the Strength of a Mountain,
The Majesty of a tree,
The Warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of an eagle's filght.
The jou of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
The God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it....Dad.
Hapy Father's Day!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
June 4, 2008
When God showed up on the softball field
A recent story in the New York Times by George Vecsey caught my attention. The Western Oregon women’s softball team played against Central Washington University in April of this year, and during the course of the game, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit the first home run of her college career. She missed first base, though, in all her excitement, as the first base coach yelled for her to come back. When she turned, to everyone’s horror, her right knee buckled. Crying and in intense pain, Tucholsky struggled to crawl back to first base. In the meantime, the umpire warned that if any of her teammates touched her, she would be called out, and if a pinch runner were brought in for her, the home run would be reduced to a single. That’s when the opposing team’s first baseman, Mallory Holtman, did something that shocked everyone. She turned to the umpire and said, "Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around the bases, and she touched each one?" The umpires agreed, so Holtman and teammate Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her to second base, where they gently lowered her and touched her foot to the bag. All three players started to giggle, Tucholsky through her tears, as they proceeded to third base. When they arrived at home plate, the crowd exploded with a standing ovation. Many in the stands were crying, even though it was a home game for Central Washington. Western Oregon went on to win the game, eliminating Central Washington from the playoffs.
After the game, Holtman said that her good deed was no big deal: "She hit it over the fence," Holtman said. "She deserved it. Anybody would have done it. I just beat them to it." She said her coach, Gary Frederick, teaches the team that "winning is not everything."
Pam Knox, the coach of the Western Oregon team, attributed it to character, saying, "They’re playing for a coach who instills it."
I don’t know about you, but hearing a story like that renews my hope. It reminds me that there are still coaches and teachers and parents out there who recognize a higher calling than just fielding a winning team. It also renews my faith that God is at work across this land. Don’t be confused by the fact that the Lord was not mentioned at all in that story and there is no indication that either the players or the coaches acknowledged faith in God. Perhaps none of them did. But what happened on the field that day was, as George Vecsey called it, "a moment of grace." A player for the losing team helped a player from the winning team increase their margin of victory. One who was in a position to benefit from leaving an opposing player in her place of weakness instead reached out and turned that weakness into strength. That is as clear a picture of God’s grace as he could have possibly painted for us that day.
We also were rounding first base in our attempt to make it home safely. But we stumbled in our sin; we fell and were absolutely unable to continue. The strong arms of God’s grace picked us up and carried us home, at his own expense. These arms belong to the one who was "wounded for our transgressions," the one who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Thank you, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace. You did more than help a fallen opponent. Your example helped us all.
J. Mark Fox is pastor of Antioch Community Church on Power Line Road in Elon. His books, "Real Life Moments: a Dad’s Devotional", and "Family-Integrated Church," are available at Amazon.com. E-mail Mark at markfox@antiochchurch.cc
When God showed up on the softball field
A recent story in the New York Times by George Vecsey caught my attention. The Western Oregon women’s softball team played against Central Washington University in April of this year, and during the course of the game, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit the first home run of her college career. She missed first base, though, in all her excitement, as the first base coach yelled for her to come back. When she turned, to everyone’s horror, her right knee buckled. Crying and in intense pain, Tucholsky struggled to crawl back to first base. In the meantime, the umpire warned that if any of her teammates touched her, she would be called out, and if a pinch runner were brought in for her, the home run would be reduced to a single. That’s when the opposing team’s first baseman, Mallory Holtman, did something that shocked everyone. She turned to the umpire and said, "Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around the bases, and she touched each one?" The umpires agreed, so Holtman and teammate Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her to second base, where they gently lowered her and touched her foot to the bag. All three players started to giggle, Tucholsky through her tears, as they proceeded to third base. When they arrived at home plate, the crowd exploded with a standing ovation. Many in the stands were crying, even though it was a home game for Central Washington. Western Oregon went on to win the game, eliminating Central Washington from the playoffs.
After the game, Holtman said that her good deed was no big deal: "She hit it over the fence," Holtman said. "She deserved it. Anybody would have done it. I just beat them to it." She said her coach, Gary Frederick, teaches the team that "winning is not everything."
Pam Knox, the coach of the Western Oregon team, attributed it to character, saying, "They’re playing for a coach who instills it."
I don’t know about you, but hearing a story like that renews my hope. It reminds me that there are still coaches and teachers and parents out there who recognize a higher calling than just fielding a winning team. It also renews my faith that God is at work across this land. Don’t be confused by the fact that the Lord was not mentioned at all in that story and there is no indication that either the players or the coaches acknowledged faith in God. Perhaps none of them did. But what happened on the field that day was, as George Vecsey called it, "a moment of grace." A player for the losing team helped a player from the winning team increase their margin of victory. One who was in a position to benefit from leaving an opposing player in her place of weakness instead reached out and turned that weakness into strength. That is as clear a picture of God’s grace as he could have possibly painted for us that day.
We also were rounding first base in our attempt to make it home safely. But we stumbled in our sin; we fell and were absolutely unable to continue. The strong arms of God’s grace picked us up and carried us home, at his own expense. These arms belong to the one who was "wounded for our transgressions," the one who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Thank you, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace. You did more than help a fallen opponent. Your example helped us all.
J. Mark Fox is pastor of Antioch Community Church on Power Line Road in Elon. His books, "Real Life Moments: a Dad’s Devotional", and "Family-Integrated Church," are available at Amazon.com. E-mail Mark at markfox@antiochchurch.cc
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Pick of the week 5/28/08
Good Day Wednesday Worders……….
Once again I find that it my time to share the Wednesday word and I don’t have anything in particular to say. So I bring back the CD Tower Shuffle………if you are unaware of how this works, it’s pretty simple. I spin the CD tower at my desk, Papa John Hill says STOP, and whatever CD my fingers lands on is the song in which the word will come from. With my varied taste of music ranging from Jim Brickman and Stryper, to Bryan Duncan and Brian Setzer…..you never know what you are going to get. Well, today, John picked out the song “For All We Know” from David Sanborn’s CD Pearls.
David Sanborn happens to be one of my favorite instrumental Jazz saxophone players. When I listen to the song “For All We Know” there just happen to be lyrics and sung very hauntingly by a lady named Jimmy Scott. She sings the opening line in the song that goes, “ For all we know, we may never meet again. Before you go, make this moment sweet again. We won’t say goodbye, until the last minute. I’ll hold out my hand, my heart will be in it…………..When I heard this line I had to stop the CD. My heart began to ache and tears flowed once again for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they grieve the loss of their daughter Maria Sue Chapman last week in a tragic accident in the family driveway.
Scripture tells us that we are not promised tomorrow and we must be ready to account for our life. Is there someone you’ve want to share to love of Jesus with, but for some reason you said…maybe tomorrow. Is there a friendship that drifted apart that you’ve wanted to get back but didn’t want to make the first attempt? Is there a child that you keep promising to spend more time with…..later…….and you really mean too, “For All You Know.” There has been a link setup that if you want to leave a message for the Chapman family or make a contribution to the Shaohannah’s Hope Foundation. I’m including that below. May God Keep, Protect and Bless you and your family, and we’ll do this again next week, for all we know.
Darren
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/
Good Day Wednesday Worders……….
Once again I find that it my time to share the Wednesday word and I don’t have anything in particular to say. So I bring back the CD Tower Shuffle………if you are unaware of how this works, it’s pretty simple. I spin the CD tower at my desk, Papa John Hill says STOP, and whatever CD my fingers lands on is the song in which the word will come from. With my varied taste of music ranging from Jim Brickman and Stryper, to Bryan Duncan and Brian Setzer…..you never know what you are going to get. Well, today, John picked out the song “For All We Know” from David Sanborn’s CD Pearls.
David Sanborn happens to be one of my favorite instrumental Jazz saxophone players. When I listen to the song “For All We Know” there just happen to be lyrics and sung very hauntingly by a lady named Jimmy Scott. She sings the opening line in the song that goes, “ For all we know, we may never meet again. Before you go, make this moment sweet again. We won’t say goodbye, until the last minute. I’ll hold out my hand, my heart will be in it…………..When I heard this line I had to stop the CD. My heart began to ache and tears flowed once again for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they grieve the loss of their daughter Maria Sue Chapman last week in a tragic accident in the family driveway.
Scripture tells us that we are not promised tomorrow and we must be ready to account for our life. Is there someone you’ve want to share to love of Jesus with, but for some reason you said…maybe tomorrow. Is there a friendship that drifted apart that you’ve wanted to get back but didn’t want to make the first attempt? Is there a child that you keep promising to spend more time with…..later…….and you really mean too, “For All You Know.” There has been a link setup that if you want to leave a message for the Chapman family or make a contribution to the Shaohannah’s Hope Foundation. I’m including that below. May God Keep, Protect and Bless you and your family, and we’ll do this again next week, for all we know.
Darren
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/
Friday, May 23, 2008
Pick of the week
Memorial Day 2008
Freedom Is Not Free
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it, and then
He stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.
I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!
Memorial Day 2008
Freedom Is Not Free
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it, and then
He stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.
I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
April 23, 2008
What's In Your Sponge?
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
What's In Your Sponge?
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Pick of the week
April 18, 2008
Pope and the Lord's Prayer
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?
"The Colonel says, "I need you to change the Lord's prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." The Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
This time the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." The Colonel hangs up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. "This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
April 18, 2008
Pope and the Lord's Prayer
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?
"The Colonel says, "I need you to change the Lord's prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." The Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
This time the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." The Colonel hangs up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. "This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
Friday, April 04, 2008
Pick of the Week
Tribute to Ric Flair April 4, 2008 D. Stevens
This past Sunday I watched one of my All Time Favorite Entertainers call it a career. For over 35 years he gave everything he had, every night, to make sure that the people who spent their hard earned money didn’t walk away disappointed. I myself have enjoyed watching this man perfect his craft on numerous occasions, but this past Sunday at Wrestlemania 24 was perhaps the hardest to watch, as it sinks in that neither my son nor I will get to watch Ric Flair wrestle again. Then to top that off, on Monday night’s TV Show, they wait til the very end and bring him out to the center ring and proceed to honor him by saying Thank You for all you gave. Today’s superstar wrestlers came out and hugged him, and even his fellow wrestlers from the past 35 years surprised him.
As I watched the tribute being given and felt a tear run down my face as I thought how great that had to feel at that moment to be Ric Flair. Then I started thinking about what it will be like when I have to walk away from Radio one day…..and wondering if I will have made that same kind of impact on just one person. Truth is, we may not get to have our tribute in the center ring, on primetime TV with millions watching. It may be like the Ray Boltz song where one day we see a long line of people in heaven who are waiting to say thank you for everything you gave, and how God used you to Bless them and you never even knew it!
So, from this day on…….it doesn’t matter what you have to give……entertainment in the squared circle or encouragement on the radio….just give God your very best and let him do the rest. Oh, and every once in a while it’s OK to throw your head back and let out a great big Whoooo Thank You Nature Boy!
Tribute to Ric Flair April 4, 2008 D. Stevens
This past Sunday I watched one of my All Time Favorite Entertainers call it a career. For over 35 years he gave everything he had, every night, to make sure that the people who spent their hard earned money didn’t walk away disappointed. I myself have enjoyed watching this man perfect his craft on numerous occasions, but this past Sunday at Wrestlemania 24 was perhaps the hardest to watch, as it sinks in that neither my son nor I will get to watch Ric Flair wrestle again. Then to top that off, on Monday night’s TV Show, they wait til the very end and bring him out to the center ring and proceed to honor him by saying Thank You for all you gave. Today’s superstar wrestlers came out and hugged him, and even his fellow wrestlers from the past 35 years surprised him.
As I watched the tribute being given and felt a tear run down my face as I thought how great that had to feel at that moment to be Ric Flair. Then I started thinking about what it will be like when I have to walk away from Radio one day…..and wondering if I will have made that same kind of impact on just one person. Truth is, we may not get to have our tribute in the center ring, on primetime TV with millions watching. It may be like the Ray Boltz song where one day we see a long line of people in heaven who are waiting to say thank you for everything you gave, and how God used you to Bless them and you never even knew it!
So, from this day on…….it doesn’t matter what you have to give……entertainment in the squared circle or encouragement on the radio….just give God your very best and let him do the rest. Oh, and every once in a while it’s OK to throw your head back and let out a great big Whoooo Thank You Nature Boy!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Pick of the week March 20, 2008
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
Monday, March 03, 2008
March 3, 2008
Message From A Mom To Her Child....
I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can buy you beautiful clothes,but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs,but I cannot say "no" for you.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of my life.... and I will.
Message From A Mom To Her Child....
I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can buy you beautiful clothes,but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs,but I cannot say "no" for you.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of my life.... and I will.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
February 27, 2008
Children's Bible in a Nutshell
A child was told to write a "book report" on the entire Bible. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching??? Through the eyes of a child . . . .
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his broth er as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Any way's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Children's Bible in a Nutshell
A child was told to write a "book report" on the entire Bible. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching??? Through the eyes of a child . . . .
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his broth er as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Any way's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
pick of the week for February 22, 2008
What is Within Your Clay Pot?
In the ancient world, pots made of clay were used to store
treasures—from documents to precious jewels. But jars of clay
were also used for far less noble purposes. There was no difference
between a pot that was used to hold gold and a pot that was used
for human waste.
The pot itself has no intrinsic value. It’s just a cheap, breakable,
replaceable container. The only worth a clay pot has is the worth of
what is contained inside it. Just as the power is not in the container
but in what it contains, the power is not in who you are but in whose
you are. The power is not in what you can do, but in the One who can
do all things through you.
Written by
Michael Youssef, Ph.D.
What is Within Your Clay Pot?
In the ancient world, pots made of clay were used to store
treasures—from documents to precious jewels. But jars of clay
were also used for far less noble purposes. There was no difference
between a pot that was used to hold gold and a pot that was used
for human waste.
The pot itself has no intrinsic value. It’s just a cheap, breakable,
replaceable container. The only worth a clay pot has is the worth of
what is contained inside it. Just as the power is not in the container
but in what it contains, the power is not in who you are but in whose
you are. The power is not in what you can do, but in the One who can
do all things through you.
Written by
Michael Youssef, Ph.D.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
February 12, 2008
The Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir is one of 12 high school choirs chosen to perform in the 2008 International Gospel Choir Olympics on Feb. 15 in New York City for a weekend gospel competition.
But those students and their choir director are still $2,000 short of expenses. Their choir director is Deon Clark and is a Smith graduate.
My "Something to ponder" today is what can you do to help make sure these students get the opportunity to Praise God and enjoy this honor that's been given to them.
Checks should be made out to Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir and can be dropped off at the school’s office, 2407 S. Holden Road, or picked up by calling 254-6502.
I'm sure each and every one of them would tell you Thank You for your help!
The Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir is one of 12 high school choirs chosen to perform in the 2008 International Gospel Choir Olympics on Feb. 15 in New York City for a weekend gospel competition.
But those students and their choir director are still $2,000 short of expenses. Their choir director is Deon Clark and is a Smith graduate.
My "Something to ponder" today is what can you do to help make sure these students get the opportunity to Praise God and enjoy this honor that's been given to them.
Checks should be made out to Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir and can be dropped off at the school’s office, 2407 S. Holden Road, or picked up by calling 254-6502.
I'm sure each and every one of them would tell you Thank You for your help!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Pick of the Week
February 8, 2008
The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy"
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"EXACTLY," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
February 8, 2008
The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy"
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"EXACTLY," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
February 4, 2008
Signs You Have a Cheap HMO Plan
Directions to the doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER."
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed "Joe the bartender."
The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is, "An apple a day."
Your "primary care physician" is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
"Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a misprint.
The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
Your pills come in different colors with "M" on them.
And the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO....
Your prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.
Signs You Have a Cheap HMO Plan
Directions to the doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER."
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed "Joe the bartender."
The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is, "An apple a day."
Your "primary care physician" is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
"Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a misprint.
The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
Your pills come in different colors with "M" on them.
And the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO....
Your prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
January 31, 2008
IMAGES OF MOTHER
4 years of age: -My mommy can do anything!
8 years of age: -My mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age: -My mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years of age: -Naturally, mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age: -Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age: -That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years of age: -Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age: -Before we decide, let's get mom's opinion.
45 years of age: -Wonder what mom would have thought about it?
65 years of age: -Wish I could talk it over with mom....
IMAGES OF MOTHER
4 years of age: -My mommy can do anything!
8 years of age: -My mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age: -My mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years of age: -Naturally, mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age: -Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age: -That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years of age: -Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age: -Before we decide, let's get mom's opinion.
45 years of age: -Wonder what mom would have thought about it?
65 years of age: -Wish I could talk it over with mom....
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
January 29, 2008
I Forgot My Security System
A horrible thing happened to me today. A thief broke into my house. It happened shortly after I awoke this morning. I got up and began rushing about. I had a thousand things on my list and was already running behind. Quickly, I gulped down breakfast, took a shower and got ready for work. In my rush, I forgot to turn the security system on at my house. It was just about a half an hour later that the thief broke in.
Of course, he didn't make a sound. Just kind of snuck inside, not drawing any attention to himself. In fact, none of the neighbors ever saw him. But, I did. You see, I WAS HOME when the thief broke in. He naturally startled me, as I was unprepared for his visit. He, of course, didn't announce that he was coming and I certainly had not invited him over. And yet, I found myself face to face with danger and I felt so powerless. I also felt so very stupid, because this whole incident could have been avoided if I had just taken the time to turn the security system on. You better believe I'll be turning it on tomorrow morning! I thought I'd warn you about this guy, because he's still on the loose.
Chances are, he's in your area. Possibly even headed for your house. His name? Satan.
You see, this morning when I jumped up in my haste to get started on my busy day, I skipped my prayer time ~ opting to "pray later today." In other words, I DIDN'T TURN ON THE SECURITY SYSTEM. My defense wasn't on, my guard was dropped . . . and when the thief came into my home to attack me, I was unprepared to do battle. He tempted me and I felt powerless. Like I said, I also felt so very stupid, because I could have avoided the incident if I had just taken the time to pray.
My friend, the thief has come to "steal, kill and destroy." And, as a Child of God, you are on his "hit list." He'll probably pop over to your house today. He may be lurking outside your door right now, just waiting to catch you off guard. Take time to pray in the morning. Ask God to protect you and empower you to do battle. In short, don't forget to turn your security system on.
I Forgot My Security System
A horrible thing happened to me today. A thief broke into my house. It happened shortly after I awoke this morning. I got up and began rushing about. I had a thousand things on my list and was already running behind. Quickly, I gulped down breakfast, took a shower and got ready for work. In my rush, I forgot to turn the security system on at my house. It was just about a half an hour later that the thief broke in.
Of course, he didn't make a sound. Just kind of snuck inside, not drawing any attention to himself. In fact, none of the neighbors ever saw him. But, I did. You see, I WAS HOME when the thief broke in. He naturally startled me, as I was unprepared for his visit. He, of course, didn't announce that he was coming and I certainly had not invited him over. And yet, I found myself face to face with danger and I felt so powerless. I also felt so very stupid, because this whole incident could have been avoided if I had just taken the time to turn the security system on. You better believe I'll be turning it on tomorrow morning! I thought I'd warn you about this guy, because he's still on the loose.
Chances are, he's in your area. Possibly even headed for your house. His name? Satan.
You see, this morning when I jumped up in my haste to get started on my busy day, I skipped my prayer time ~ opting to "pray later today." In other words, I DIDN'T TURN ON THE SECURITY SYSTEM. My defense wasn't on, my guard was dropped . . . and when the thief came into my home to attack me, I was unprepared to do battle. He tempted me and I felt powerless. Like I said, I also felt so very stupid, because I could have avoided the incident if I had just taken the time to pray.
My friend, the thief has come to "steal, kill and destroy." And, as a Child of God, you are on his "hit list." He'll probably pop over to your house today. He may be lurking outside your door right now, just waiting to catch you off guard. Take time to pray in the morning. Ask God to protect you and empower you to do battle. In short, don't forget to turn your security system on.
Monday, January 28, 2008
January 28, 2008
Five Balls
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family - Health - Friends - Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Five Balls
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family - Health - Friends - Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Ponder of the week January 26, 2008
Sleeping in Church
A man is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring he finally nods off.
The pastor has been watching him all along, and is getting upset. At the end of the sermon, the pastor decides to make an example of him.
He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And those who would like to find a place in hell, PLEASE STAND UP!"
The weary man, catching only the last part, groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, pastor, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing up for it!"
Sleeping in Church
A man is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring he finally nods off.
The pastor has been watching him all along, and is getting upset. At the end of the sermon, the pastor decides to make an example of him.
He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And those who would like to find a place in hell, PLEASE STAND UP!"
The weary man, catching only the last part, groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, pastor, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing up for it!"
Monday, January 21, 2008
January 21, 2008
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... hopefully it'll make you feel good.
Falling in love.
Laughing so hard your face hurts.
A hot shower.
No lines at the supermarket
A special glance.
Getting mail
Taking a drive on a pretty road.
Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
A bubble bath.
Giggling.
A good conversation.
The beach
Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
Laughing at yourself.
Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
Running through sprinklers.
Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
Laughing at an inside joke.
Friends.
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep.
Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
Playing with a new puppy.
Having someone play with your hair.
Sweet dreams.
Hot chocolate.
Road trips with friends.
Swinging on swings.
Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
Making chocolate chip cookies.
Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
Holding hands with someone you care about.
Running into an old friend and realising that some things (good or bad) never change.
Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
Watching the sunrise.
Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
Knowing that somebody misses you.
Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... hopefully it'll make you feel good.
Falling in love.
Laughing so hard your face hurts.
A hot shower.
No lines at the supermarket
A special glance.
Getting mail
Taking a drive on a pretty road.
Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
A bubble bath.
Giggling.
A good conversation.
The beach
Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
Laughing at yourself.
Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
Running through sprinklers.
Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
Laughing at an inside joke.
Friends.
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep.
Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
Playing with a new puppy.
Having someone play with your hair.
Sweet dreams.
Hot chocolate.
Road trips with friends.
Swinging on swings.
Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
Making chocolate chip cookies.
Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
Holding hands with someone you care about.
Running into an old friend and realising that some things (good or bad) never change.
Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
Watching the sunrise.
Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
Knowing that somebody misses you.
Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
January 15, 2007
Originally written by Craig R. Smith
"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll
> data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true, given the source,
> right?
>
> The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with
> the
> direction the country is headed, and 69 percent of the country is unhappy
> with the performance of the President. In essence, 2/3's of the citizenry
> just isn't happy and want a change.
>
> So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What are we so
> unhappy about?''
> Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a
> week?
>
> Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and
> heating in the winter?
>
> Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?
>
> Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time, and see
> more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
>
> Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic
> Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through
> each state?
>
> Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the
> way that can provide temporary shelter?
>
> I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around
> the
> world is just not good enough.
>
> Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and
> provide services to help all, and even send a helicopter to take you to
> the
> hospital.
>
> Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may
> be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of
> trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to
> extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.
>
> Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar
> or
> prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest
> will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.
>
> This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias
> raping
> and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers
> own cell phones and computers.
>
> How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy
> that are the envy of everyone in the world?
>
> Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
>
> Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world
> has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U..S., yet has a great
> disdain
> for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in
> the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have , and what
> we
> hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
>
> I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no
> plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31 percent approval
> rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days
> after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of
> recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in
> the
> book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from
> terrorist attacks?
>
> The Commander-In Chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there
> defending
> you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk
> show?
> Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a
> look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?
>
> Think about it...are you upset at the President because he actually caused
> you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to
> kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.
>
> Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have
> volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom.
> There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.
>
> They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general''
> discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario,
> a
> ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.
>
> So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of
> Americans? Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds,
> it
> leads; and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash
> with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the
> corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit
> corporations.
> They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions
> by
> "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow
> a
> murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about "how he didn't kill his
> wife, but if he did he would have done it this way"...Insane!
>
> Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the
> TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird
> cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is
> exponentially more good than bad.
>
> We are among the most blessed people on Earth, and should thank God
> several
> times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.
>
> "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
> severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and
> with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a
> good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
>
Originally written by Craig R. Smith
"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll
> data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true, given the source,
> right?
>
> The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with
> the
> direction the country is headed, and 69 percent of the country is unhappy
> with the performance of the President. In essence, 2/3's of the citizenry
> just isn't happy and want a change.
>
> So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What are we so
> unhappy about?''
> Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a
> week?
>
> Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and
> heating in the winter?
>
> Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?
>
> Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time, and see
> more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
>
> Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic
> Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through
> each state?
>
> Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the
> way that can provide temporary shelter?
>
> I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around
> the
> world is just not good enough.
>
> Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and
> provide services to help all, and even send a helicopter to take you to
> the
> hospital.
>
> Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may
> be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of
> trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to
> extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.
>
> Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar
> or
> prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest
> will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.
>
> This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias
> raping
> and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers
> own cell phones and computers.
>
> How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy
> that are the envy of everyone in the world?
>
> Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
>
> Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world
> has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U..S., yet has a great
> disdain
> for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in
> the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have , and what
> we
> hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
>
> I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no
> plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31 percent approval
> rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days
> after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of
> recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in
> the
> book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from
> terrorist attacks?
>
> The Commander-In Chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there
> defending
> you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk
> show?
> Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a
> look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?
>
> Think about it...are you upset at the President because he actually caused
> you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to
> kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.
>
> Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have
> volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom.
> There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.
>
> They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general''
> discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario,
> a
> ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.
>
> So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of
> Americans? Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds,
> it
> leads; and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash
> with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the
> corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit
> corporations.
> They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions
> by
> "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow
> a
> murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about "how he didn't kill his
> wife, but if he did he would have done it this way"...Insane!
>
> Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the
> TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird
> cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is
> exponentially more good than bad.
>
> We are among the most blessed people on Earth, and should thank God
> several
> times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.
>
> "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
> severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and
> with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a
> good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
>
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
January 9, 2008
I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed-time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!"
Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have mommies and daddies."
Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR dad?"
I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed-time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!"
Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have mommies and daddies."
Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR dad?"
Friday, January 04, 2008
January 4, 2007
A Walking Sermon
Reporters and city officials gathered at a Chicago railroad station one afternoon in 1953. The person they were meeting was the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner. A few minutes after the train came to a stop, a giant of a man - six feet four inches - with bushy hair and a large mustache stepped from the train. Cameras flashed. City officials approached him with hands outstretched. Various people began telling him how honored they were to meet him.
The man politely thanked them and then, looking over their heads, asked if he could be excused for a moment. He quickly walked through the crowd until he reached the side of an elderly black woman who was struggling with two large suitcases. He picked up the bags and with a smile, escorted the woman to a bus. After helping her aboard, he wished her a safe journey. As he returned to the greeting party he apologized, "Sorry to have kept you waiting."
The man was Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the famous missionary doctor who had spent his life helping the poor in Africa. In response to Schweitzer's action, one member of the reception committee said with great admiration to the reporter standing next to him, "That's the first time I ever saw a sermon walking."
Ponder this....What do people see when they see you?
A Walking Sermon
Reporters and city officials gathered at a Chicago railroad station one afternoon in 1953. The person they were meeting was the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner. A few minutes after the train came to a stop, a giant of a man - six feet four inches - with bushy hair and a large mustache stepped from the train. Cameras flashed. City officials approached him with hands outstretched. Various people began telling him how honored they were to meet him.
The man politely thanked them and then, looking over their heads, asked if he could be excused for a moment. He quickly walked through the crowd until he reached the side of an elderly black woman who was struggling with two large suitcases. He picked up the bags and with a smile, escorted the woman to a bus. After helping her aboard, he wished her a safe journey. As he returned to the greeting party he apologized, "Sorry to have kept you waiting."
The man was Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the famous missionary doctor who had spent his life helping the poor in Africa. In response to Schweitzer's action, one member of the reception committee said with great admiration to the reporter standing next to him, "That's the first time I ever saw a sermon walking."
Ponder this....What do people see when they see you?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
December 6, 2007
Christmas, 1st Corinthians 13 Style
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.
Christmas, 1st Corinthians 13 Style
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.
Friday, November 30, 2007
November 30, 2007
Who is the Shepherd?
Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's Children's Chapel on Sundays before the service.
One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the priest came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and asked if I'd speak to the children at their story time. He said the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm.
But just as I was about to get up from the back row and talk about the good shepherd, the priest burst into the room and signaled to me that he would be able to do the story time after all.
He told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed.
He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance and protection.
Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the sheep then who is the shepherd?" He was pretty obviously indicating himself.
A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said, "Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd."
The young priest, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy, "Well, then, who am I?"
The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug, "I guess you must be a sheep dog."
Who is the Shepherd?
Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's Children's Chapel on Sundays before the service.
One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the priest came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and asked if I'd speak to the children at their story time. He said the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm.
But just as I was about to get up from the back row and talk about the good shepherd, the priest burst into the room and signaled to me that he would be able to do the story time after all.
He told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed.
He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance and protection.
Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the sheep then who is the shepherd?" He was pretty obviously indicating himself.
A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said, "Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd."
The young priest, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy, "Well, then, who am I?"
The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug, "I guess you must be a sheep dog."
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
November 28, 2007
No More With Me
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me! I don't mean to hold you up," he said as he struggled to get off the escalator.
I'll admit to it. There have been times when walking or driving behind an older person I've gotten impatient and upset. I've huffed and zoomed around them because I was in a hurry to get nowhere. Perhaps I'm more aware of it now because I see myself there one day soon. Today I saw myself in this old man's shoes and it caused me to slow down, stop and ask for his forgiveness.
He was about five or six people ahead of me. I was in a hurry and saw him as an obstacle. I've seen people get off the end of an escalator and stop dead in their tracks, gather their things and suddenly there's a pile up of angry people behind them. You can't stop an escalator full of people behind you. Like the Energizer bunny, they keep on goin'.
This man was well aware of the challenge. He tried desperately to step aside. Fumbling with his small packages, struggling to gain his footing, you could see how troubling this was for him. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me! I don't mean to hold you up," he said as he struggled to get off the escalator.
I suddenly saw this in a whole new light. It was like I was watching my future. I felt sorry for him. I felt sick to my stomach because this man was apologizing to everyone, when we should have been helping him and calming his fears.
One by one, people zipped around him. I heard a few angry comments whispered as one lady passed by him.
I saw me.
By the time I got to him he was just about steady on his feet.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know there was more," he said.
"No, sir. No more with me," I said. This really hit me hard. I realized right then how sad it was that the world was in such a hurry. That, of course, included me. But...no more with me. Count me out.
This wonderful man paid his dues. For whatever time he had spent on this earth, he most likely walked many rough roads and too many important miles. Now he should be apologizing for moving slower?
My heart ached as I looked into his eyes. I wished that I could see what he had seen all those years. His face weathered from life itself, was creased and wrinkled. The small soft pockets under his eyes and the gentle lines that curved up and around them told me he had many happy moments, too. Those were traces left behind from laughter and a smiling, happy man.
"My friend, can I help you with those things?" I asked.
Hesitant at first, he finally said, "Well, yes, thank you!"
I placed my hand under his left arm and walked with him a safe distance away from the rush of people.
"So what are you shopping for, sir?"
"Oh, just a little something for my neighbor. She's a young mother raising kids on her own. She's always so nice to me. I thought a box of candy for Mother's Day..." he said, stopping suddenly as he searched his inside pocket of his sport coat.
"Do you need something?" I asked.
"Oh, no. Here. I think I have it right here. I always carry them with me," he said. Then pulling out a hand full of papers he shuffled through them and handed me a business card that read:
"John A. Pomicter Friend to all...enemy to no one! I said a prayer today and you were the answer. Thank you!"
"That's for you," he said. "Thanks for stopping to help an old man."
"My friend, you helped me. I discovered that I was unhappy with the world and I was part of the problem. Now I'll be part of the solution. No more with me!"
No More With Me
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me! I don't mean to hold you up," he said as he struggled to get off the escalator.
I'll admit to it. There have been times when walking or driving behind an older person I've gotten impatient and upset. I've huffed and zoomed around them because I was in a hurry to get nowhere. Perhaps I'm more aware of it now because I see myself there one day soon. Today I saw myself in this old man's shoes and it caused me to slow down, stop and ask for his forgiveness.
He was about five or six people ahead of me. I was in a hurry and saw him as an obstacle. I've seen people get off the end of an escalator and stop dead in their tracks, gather their things and suddenly there's a pile up of angry people behind them. You can't stop an escalator full of people behind you. Like the Energizer bunny, they keep on goin'.
This man was well aware of the challenge. He tried desperately to step aside. Fumbling with his small packages, struggling to gain his footing, you could see how troubling this was for him. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me! I don't mean to hold you up," he said as he struggled to get off the escalator.
I suddenly saw this in a whole new light. It was like I was watching my future. I felt sorry for him. I felt sick to my stomach because this man was apologizing to everyone, when we should have been helping him and calming his fears.
One by one, people zipped around him. I heard a few angry comments whispered as one lady passed by him.
I saw me.
By the time I got to him he was just about steady on his feet.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know there was more," he said.
"No, sir. No more with me," I said. This really hit me hard. I realized right then how sad it was that the world was in such a hurry. That, of course, included me. But...no more with me. Count me out.
This wonderful man paid his dues. For whatever time he had spent on this earth, he most likely walked many rough roads and too many important miles. Now he should be apologizing for moving slower?
My heart ached as I looked into his eyes. I wished that I could see what he had seen all those years. His face weathered from life itself, was creased and wrinkled. The small soft pockets under his eyes and the gentle lines that curved up and around them told me he had many happy moments, too. Those were traces left behind from laughter and a smiling, happy man.
"My friend, can I help you with those things?" I asked.
Hesitant at first, he finally said, "Well, yes, thank you!"
I placed my hand under his left arm and walked with him a safe distance away from the rush of people.
"So what are you shopping for, sir?"
"Oh, just a little something for my neighbor. She's a young mother raising kids on her own. She's always so nice to me. I thought a box of candy for Mother's Day..." he said, stopping suddenly as he searched his inside pocket of his sport coat.
"Do you need something?" I asked.
"Oh, no. Here. I think I have it right here. I always carry them with me," he said. Then pulling out a hand full of papers he shuffled through them and handed me a business card that read:
"John A. Pomicter Friend to all...enemy to no one! I said a prayer today and you were the answer. Thank you!"
"That's for you," he said. "Thanks for stopping to help an old man."
"My friend, you helped me. I discovered that I was unhappy with the world and I was part of the problem. Now I'll be part of the solution. No more with me!"
Monday, November 26, 2007
Be The Miracle
It had been a week of heavy frosts in the evenings here. The frozen nights had just about killed off the grass and most of the flowers were gone as well. The bitter, morning air was a reminder that Fall was almost over and that Winter was just around the corner. I noticed too as I walked my dogs on that cold afternoon that the trees in the woods were getting as bare as the top of my head. It seemed like it November’s gloom was everywhere. It was then, however, that I saw it. A single yellow butterfly was floating in the breeze and feasting on the few remaining dandelions left in my yard. It was a little miracle that filled my soul with delight. I smiled and thanked God for this message of joy and for all the little miracles in this world.
So many people in this life pray for big miracles but fail to notice the little miracles that are all around them. This past Friday, my neighbor called and offered me 3 tickets to see Hannah Montana last night in the Greensboro Coliseum, thus providing me the opportunity to be the coolest Dad in the world in the eyes of my 9 year old daughter Hannah. Then after the concert was over, my wife, daughter and her best friend found the van with a flat tire. Here enters another miracle when a gentleman by the name of Gene Stafford, who owns Leapfrog Gallery in Colfax, changed the flat and got my family back on the way home. Throughout all of this, I’m changing channels trying to find something for my other two to watch while I’m on the phone with my wife. I found Bruce Almighty and right at the end where he’s at a blood drive challenging everyone to give blood and to ….are you ready for this…..Be The Miracle!
Now I’ll never claim to be the brightest bulb in the pack, but even I could feel the Lord tapping me on the shoulder, telling me that he was in control and I needed to take time to see all the miracles that surround me and look for opportunities that I can…..Be The Miracle!
It had been a week of heavy frosts in the evenings here. The frozen nights had just about killed off the grass and most of the flowers were gone as well. The bitter, morning air was a reminder that Fall was almost over and that Winter was just around the corner. I noticed too as I walked my dogs on that cold afternoon that the trees in the woods were getting as bare as the top of my head. It seemed like it November’s gloom was everywhere. It was then, however, that I saw it. A single yellow butterfly was floating in the breeze and feasting on the few remaining dandelions left in my yard. It was a little miracle that filled my soul with delight. I smiled and thanked God for this message of joy and for all the little miracles in this world.
So many people in this life pray for big miracles but fail to notice the little miracles that are all around them. This past Friday, my neighbor called and offered me 3 tickets to see Hannah Montana last night in the Greensboro Coliseum, thus providing me the opportunity to be the coolest Dad in the world in the eyes of my 9 year old daughter Hannah. Then after the concert was over, my wife, daughter and her best friend found the van with a flat tire. Here enters another miracle when a gentleman by the name of Gene Stafford, who owns Leapfrog Gallery in Colfax, changed the flat and got my family back on the way home. Throughout all of this, I’m changing channels trying to find something for my other two to watch while I’m on the phone with my wife. I found Bruce Almighty and right at the end where he’s at a blood drive challenging everyone to give blood and to ….are you ready for this…..Be The Miracle!
Now I’ll never claim to be the brightest bulb in the pack, but even I could feel the Lord tapping me on the shoulder, telling me that he was in control and I needed to take time to see all the miracles that surround me and look for opportunities that I can…..Be The Miracle!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Pick of the week November 23,2007
*Exercise Program*
Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you." I know that I should do it, but my body is out of shape, so I have worked out this easy daily program I can do anywhere. If I can do it, you can do this, too.
Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.
Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of molehills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the bandwagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.
Thursday:
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
Saturday:
Pick up the pieces.
*Exercise Program*
Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you." I know that I should do it, but my body is out of shape, so I have worked out this easy daily program I can do anywhere. If I can do it, you can do this, too.
Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.
Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of molehills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the bandwagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.
Thursday:
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
Saturday:
Pick up the pieces.
November 20, 2007
God's Message To Women
When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.
Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.
Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life.
The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.
You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes - don't change them. Your lips how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I've held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support.
You are special because you are the extension of me. Man represents my image - woman, my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.
So man - treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.
Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.
Did you not know that WOMAN was so special in God's eyes? Now we really know! Hallelujah!!
God's Message To Women
When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.
Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.
Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life.
The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.
You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes - don't change them. Your lips how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I've held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support.
You are special because you are the extension of me. Man represents my image - woman, my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.
So man - treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.
Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.
Did you not know that WOMAN was so special in God's eyes? Now we really know! Hallelujah!!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
November 15, 2007
IF GOD SHOULD GO ON STRIKE
How is it that God above
Has never gone on strike
Because he was not treated fair
In things He didn't like.
If only once He'd given up,
And said, 'That's it, I'm through!
I've had enough of those on earth,
So this is what I'll do;
I'll give my orders to the sun -
'Cut off the heat supply!'
And to the moon - 'Give no more
Light, and run the ocean dry.'
Then just to make things really tough
And put the pressures on,
'Turn off the vital oxygen
Till every breath is gone!'
You know, He would be justified
If fairness was the game.
For no one has been abused
Or met with more disdain
Than God, any yet He carries on
Supplying you and me
With all the favors of His grace
And everything for free.
Men say they want a better deal
And so on strike they go.
But what a deal we've given
To God to whom all things we owe.
We don't care whom we hurt
To gain the things we like.
But what a mess we'd all be in
If God should go on strike!!
IF GOD SHOULD GO ON STRIKE
How is it that God above
Has never gone on strike
Because he was not treated fair
In things He didn't like.
If only once He'd given up,
And said, 'That's it, I'm through!
I've had enough of those on earth,
So this is what I'll do;
I'll give my orders to the sun -
'Cut off the heat supply!'
And to the moon - 'Give no more
Light, and run the ocean dry.'
Then just to make things really tough
And put the pressures on,
'Turn off the vital oxygen
Till every breath is gone!'
You know, He would be justified
If fairness was the game.
For no one has been abused
Or met with more disdain
Than God, any yet He carries on
Supplying you and me
With all the favors of His grace
And everything for free.
Men say they want a better deal
And so on strike they go.
But what a deal we've given
To God to whom all things we owe.
We don't care whom we hurt
To gain the things we like.
But what a mess we'd all be in
If God should go on strike!!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
November 13, 2007
The Legend of KILROY
The young James Kilroy was working on the docks of Boston harbor in the 1940s, loading the freight ships of the time with big crates filled with blue jeans, destined for the far reaches of the world.
One early November morning the day started as so many before it. The wind was blowing, the weather was gray and drab, and James Kilroy was not in a mood for anything but staying inside, sheltered from wind and rain.
"So, Kilroy, are you dreaming again? Not much you get done today." Kilroy not even blinked, he was used to the foreman and his insults. And the boxes with 100,000 pairs of blue jeans were waiting to be loaded. No way around it, he better get it over with.
But when Kilroy bent down to lift one of the crates he suddenly got a bright idea -- an idea so brilliant that it couldn't be withheld. He grabbed a piece of chalk out of his pocket, and with big, visible letters he marked each box with: "KILROY WAS HERE."
And through those boxes -- appearing in harbors across the whole planet --KILROY's spirit reached the whole world. Indeed an effective way of getting around! After that, whenever the foreman shouted to Kilroy that he never got anything accomplished, he just smiled. He knew better. In harbors across the globe boxes were appearing every day to prove the foreman wrong. Kilroy knew that one could transcend borders and break through barriers many ways, and thereby feel free and independent.
The Legend of KILROY
The young James Kilroy was working on the docks of Boston harbor in the 1940s, loading the freight ships of the time with big crates filled with blue jeans, destined for the far reaches of the world.
One early November morning the day started as so many before it. The wind was blowing, the weather was gray and drab, and James Kilroy was not in a mood for anything but staying inside, sheltered from wind and rain.
"So, Kilroy, are you dreaming again? Not much you get done today." Kilroy not even blinked, he was used to the foreman and his insults. And the boxes with 100,000 pairs of blue jeans were waiting to be loaded. No way around it, he better get it over with.
But when Kilroy bent down to lift one of the crates he suddenly got a bright idea -- an idea so brilliant that it couldn't be withheld. He grabbed a piece of chalk out of his pocket, and with big, visible letters he marked each box with: "KILROY WAS HERE."
And through those boxes -- appearing in harbors across the whole planet --KILROY's spirit reached the whole world. Indeed an effective way of getting around! After that, whenever the foreman shouted to Kilroy that he never got anything accomplished, he just smiled. He knew better. In harbors across the globe boxes were appearing every day to prove the foreman wrong. Kilroy knew that one could transcend borders and break through barriers many ways, and thereby feel free and independent.
Monday, November 12, 2007
November 12th, 2007
What Is A Veteran?
(Marine Corp chaplain, Father Denis Edward O'Brian)
Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them, a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.
Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't tell a vet just by looking. What is a vet?
A vet is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.
A vet is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th Parallel.
A vet is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.
A vet is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back at all.
A vet is the drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account punks and gang members into marines, airmen, sailors, soldiers and coast guardsmen, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.
A vet is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.
A vet is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.
A vet is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.
A vet is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.
A vet is an ordinary and yet extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.
A vet is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more that the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.
So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say, "Thank You." That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.
Again, two little words that mean a lot to any Veteran -- "THANK YOU."
Addendum -- John 15:13 (KJV) "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
What Is A Veteran?
(Marine Corp chaplain, Father Denis Edward O'Brian)
Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them, a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.
Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't tell a vet just by looking. What is a vet?
A vet is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.
A vet is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th Parallel.
A vet is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.
A vet is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back at all.
A vet is the drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account punks and gang members into marines, airmen, sailors, soldiers and coast guardsmen, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.
A vet is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.
A vet is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.
A vet is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.
A vet is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.
A vet is an ordinary and yet extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.
A vet is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more that the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.
So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say, "Thank You." That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.
Again, two little words that mean a lot to any Veteran -- "THANK YOU."
Addendum -- John 15:13 (KJV) "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
Friday, November 09, 2007
November 9, 2007
A minister was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him he was a minister and this is the uniform ministers wear.
Then the boy pointed to the minister's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?"
The minister was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar tab looked like a band aid. So the minister took it out and handed it to the boy to show him.
On the back of the tab are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and the minister asked, "Do you know what those words say?"
"Yes, I do," said the lad who was not old enough to read.
Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas up to six months."
A minister was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him he was a minister and this is the uniform ministers wear.
Then the boy pointed to the minister's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?"
The minister was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar tab looked like a band aid. So the minister took it out and handed it to the boy to show him.
On the back of the tab are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and the minister asked, "Do you know what those words say?"
"Yes, I do," said the lad who was not old enough to read.
Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas up to six months."
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