February 4, 2008

Signs You Have a Cheap HMO Plan


Directions to the doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."


When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER."


Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.


The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed "Joe the bartender."


The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is, "An apple a day."


Your "primary care physician" is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.


"Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a misprint.


The only expense covered 100% is embalming.


Your pills come in different colors with "M" on them.


And the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO....


Your prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.