Pick of the week 09/20/08
He Wasn't Cured But He Was Healed
Tony Compolo tells a story about being in a church in
Oregon where he was asked to pray for a man who had cancer.
Compolo prayed boldly for the man's healing. That next week
he got a telephone call from the man's wife. She said, "You
prayed for my husband. He had cancer." Compolo thought when
he heard her use the past tense verb that his cancer had been
eradicated! But before he could think much about it she said,
"He died." Compolo felt terrible.
But she continued, "Don't feel bad. When he came into that
church that Sunday he was filled with anger. He knew he was
going to be dead in a short period of time, and he hated God.
He was 58 years old, and he wanted to see his children and
grandchildren grow up. He was angry that this all-powerful
God didn't take away his sickness and heal him. He would
lie in bed and curse God. The more his anger grew towards
God, the more miserable he was to everybody around him.
It was an awful thing to be in his presence.
But the lady told Compolo, "After you prayed for him, a peace
had come over him and a joy had come into him. Tony, the
last three days have been the best days of our lives. We've
sung. We've laughed. We've read Scripture. We prayed. Oh,
they've been wonderful days. And I called to thank you for
laying your hands on him and praying for healing."
And then she said something incredibly profound. She said,
"He wasn't cured, but he was healed."
Friday, September 19, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
September 12, 2008
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
September 12, 2008
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
The Fastest Thing
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man,the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Let me explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I was TO LATE!" HE GOT THE JOB !
Friday, September 05, 2008
Pick of the week September 6, 2008
The Top 5 Kitchen Signs seen in my House
#5 I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day!
#4 Ring Bell for Maid Service... If no answer do it yourself!
#3 If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
#2 My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines.
AND
#1 If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
The Top 5 Kitchen Signs seen in my House
#5 I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day!
#4 Ring Bell for Maid Service... If no answer do it yourself!
#3 If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
#2 My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines.
AND
#1 If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
Friday, August 22, 2008
August 22, 2008
Pick of the week
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
~ Every Senator or Congressman running for President
Try that at your job and tell me how it works out.
Pick of the week
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
~ Every Senator or Congressman running for President
Try that at your job and tell me how it works out.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Pick of the week 08/02/08
this was written by a gentleman named Bob Perks and is Awesome.
Easy as 1, 2, 3
Easy as one two, three.
I am always drawn to those words.
Whenever I am about to begin a new project in my life, I look for the quickest way to get it done.
If I am fixing the sink, I choose the parts that say, "Easy as one, two, three."
If I am staining the deck, I scan the aisles for the can that says "Easy as 1,2,3."
If I am adding a storm door to my house, I want to find the one that says, "So easy anyone can do it Easy as 1,2,3."
There's something about the number three. If I go to the grocery store and I need to pick up more than three items I have to write them down. I can always remember three, but four or more get lost.
I can remember the first steps my boys took, "one, two, three."
Then there are the memories of teaching them how to ride a bike.
"I'll walk along side of you and when I count to three, I'm going to let go," I told them.
"One...two...three..." and before I knew it they were driving cars.
As easy as one, two, three they were gone.
Most of my life I have always had one dog. I couldn't't even imagine having more. That is until we had Ricky and Lucy. Two of the greatest dogs a guy could have.
"Wouldn't't three be even greater?" I asked my wife.
"Not until we get a bigger house," she replied.
So, I built and addition onto the one we had.
I felt like a child asking, "Now can we get another dog?"
I found out after a few years of talking about it that she never thought I was serious.
Imagine that. Talking about something for years and one wouldn't't be taken seriously.
How many years? You guessed it...three.
There it was again.
Well, this past Father's Day my wife came home with another dog. I call him Phil.
Having three dogs is all I ever imagined it to be and more.
So, it would appear to be obvious that three would have to be my lucky number, my favorite roll of the dice, the number I'd place a bet on or the horse I'd pick in a race.
It was until recently.
It was a normal phone call I thought, from my friend. I hear from him only a few times a year, but for some reason I expected to hear his voice when he called that day.
"Well, it's about time!" I said when I answered the phone. "I looked at the caller ID and thought, I think I know that number. Don't tell me...Oh, yes...Jim."
There was silence.
"Hey, are you there?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm here," he said quietly.
"Do you have a cold? You sound like you're losing your voice or something."
"No. It's not a cold."
I rambled on for a few more minutes and suddenly realized that I was doing all of the talking.
"What's going on? You never let me talk this long."
"Bob, I've got something to tell you."
I waited. He hesitated a bit longer and finally said, "I've been ill. They say I'm dying."
There was a deep silence that felt like my heart stopped and I suddenly went deaf. There was a void in the conversation that no proper words could fill.
Then he said, "They give me three months."
How odd that my first reaction was, "It can't be. Three is my favorite number."
How perfectly selfish and stupid. Why would I think that at this time?
He's dying and I'm upset because they chose to tell him he had three months. Why not four? Five or six are good numbers, too.
I realized afterwards that three was perfection to me. Everything about that number meant happy things in my life. Nobody should make three a bad number.
The truth is it is just a number.
There is power in one. There is friendship and love in two. In the Bible, the number three often times reflects divine perfection.
Okay, he could have it. Divine perfection. The sum of all he was, all I ever knew him to be as a friend, a husband and a father could be described as divinely perfect.
I spoke to Jim two more times before he died. Yes, three in all.
He died on the third of the month just three days shy of his three month prognosis.
The obituary said he was the father of three.
Losing him is difficult. Remembering him...easy as one, two, three.
this was written by a gentleman named Bob Perks and is Awesome.
Easy as 1, 2, 3
Easy as one two, three.
I am always drawn to those words.
Whenever I am about to begin a new project in my life, I look for the quickest way to get it done.
If I am fixing the sink, I choose the parts that say, "Easy as one, two, three."
If I am staining the deck, I scan the aisles for the can that says "Easy as 1,2,3."
If I am adding a storm door to my house, I want to find the one that says, "So easy anyone can do it Easy as 1,2,3."
There's something about the number three. If I go to the grocery store and I need to pick up more than three items I have to write them down. I can always remember three, but four or more get lost.
I can remember the first steps my boys took, "one, two, three."
Then there are the memories of teaching them how to ride a bike.
"I'll walk along side of you and when I count to three, I'm going to let go," I told them.
"One...two...three..." and before I knew it they were driving cars.
As easy as one, two, three they were gone.
Most of my life I have always had one dog. I couldn't't even imagine having more. That is until we had Ricky and Lucy. Two of the greatest dogs a guy could have.
"Wouldn't't three be even greater?" I asked my wife.
"Not until we get a bigger house," she replied.
So, I built and addition onto the one we had.
I felt like a child asking, "Now can we get another dog?"
I found out after a few years of talking about it that she never thought I was serious.
Imagine that. Talking about something for years and one wouldn't't be taken seriously.
How many years? You guessed it...three.
There it was again.
Well, this past Father's Day my wife came home with another dog. I call him Phil.
Having three dogs is all I ever imagined it to be and more.
So, it would appear to be obvious that three would have to be my lucky number, my favorite roll of the dice, the number I'd place a bet on or the horse I'd pick in a race.
It was until recently.
It was a normal phone call I thought, from my friend. I hear from him only a few times a year, but for some reason I expected to hear his voice when he called that day.
"Well, it's about time!" I said when I answered the phone. "I looked at the caller ID and thought, I think I know that number. Don't tell me...Oh, yes...Jim."
There was silence.
"Hey, are you there?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm here," he said quietly.
"Do you have a cold? You sound like you're losing your voice or something."
"No. It's not a cold."
I rambled on for a few more minutes and suddenly realized that I was doing all of the talking.
"What's going on? You never let me talk this long."
"Bob, I've got something to tell you."
I waited. He hesitated a bit longer and finally said, "I've been ill. They say I'm dying."
There was a deep silence that felt like my heart stopped and I suddenly went deaf. There was a void in the conversation that no proper words could fill.
Then he said, "They give me three months."
How odd that my first reaction was, "It can't be. Three is my favorite number."
How perfectly selfish and stupid. Why would I think that at this time?
He's dying and I'm upset because they chose to tell him he had three months. Why not four? Five or six are good numbers, too.
I realized afterwards that three was perfection to me. Everything about that number meant happy things in my life. Nobody should make three a bad number.
The truth is it is just a number.
There is power in one. There is friendship and love in two. In the Bible, the number three often times reflects divine perfection.
Okay, he could have it. Divine perfection. The sum of all he was, all I ever knew him to be as a friend, a husband and a father could be described as divinely perfect.
I spoke to Jim two more times before he died. Yes, three in all.
He died on the third of the month just three days shy of his three month prognosis.
The obituary said he was the father of three.
Losing him is difficult. Remembering him...easy as one, two, three.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
July 23, 2008
Moments that take your breath away.
Last night I heard one of my favorite sermons delivered by my friend Michael Thames who is the pastor at Pine Hill Friends Meeting. He shared with everyone that Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away. Well, he actually used the quote from the movie “Hitch” that said “drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
It got me to “ponder” all of the many moments I have had in my life….like the moment I proposed to my wife Jennifer, or all 3 times she told me we were going to have a baby, the birth of my children, the stories that are shared during Sharathon on how God has used WBFJ to bless your life, and I could be here for hours listing all the Moments that have taken my breath. How about you? What are some of your moments?
There are 2 important breaths you will take in your life, one is your first breath when the doctor slaps your naked behind……and the other is your very last breath. When that final breath comes, will you be ready to embrace it knowing that you will spend eternity in Heaven? You can if you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. I can promise you that when you ask God to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart it will be one of those moments that take your breath away. To use one more quote from the movie Hitch, “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
Moments that take your breath away.
Last night I heard one of my favorite sermons delivered by my friend Michael Thames who is the pastor at Pine Hill Friends Meeting. He shared with everyone that Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away. Well, he actually used the quote from the movie “Hitch” that said “drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
It got me to “ponder” all of the many moments I have had in my life….like the moment I proposed to my wife Jennifer, or all 3 times she told me we were going to have a baby, the birth of my children, the stories that are shared during Sharathon on how God has used WBFJ to bless your life, and I could be here for hours listing all the Moments that have taken my breath. How about you? What are some of your moments?
There are 2 important breaths you will take in your life, one is your first breath when the doctor slaps your naked behind……and the other is your very last breath. When that final breath comes, will you be ready to embrace it knowing that you will spend eternity in Heaven? You can if you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. I can promise you that when you ask God to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart it will be one of those moments that take your breath away. To use one more quote from the movie Hitch, “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
July 16, 2008
Four Seasons of a Tree
Don't judge a life by one difficult season.
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no - it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are - and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life - can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Four Seasons of a Tree
Don't judge a life by one difficult season.
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no - it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are - and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life - can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Pick of the week July 5th, 2008
I want to share an experience I had this past weekend with you.
I attended a church service in the Chapel of Camp Lejeune - Marine Military Base in NC. It touched me deeply and brought me to tears.
To be in a service with our troops in their uniforms praising God with hands held high and voice ringing our to worship the God of the Universe was overwhelming. Then one Marine had a prayer request for his fiancée and then asked prayer for himself and his walk with Christ and desire to go deeper with God. I was more than blessed to be there.
Then I went to lunch with the Chaplain and his family - he had done 2 tours in Iraq - he was one of the first that went in at the beginning of the war and then another time.
He shared with me that the troops are hungry for God and seeking Jesus and when they find Him that become not just saved but solded out for Christ. And he sees them come and go alot on the base but when they return to the states they keep walking with Christ. They are truly changed with a deep desire to follow Jesus.
He said you do not hear this in the media but this is real and this is what is happening with our men and women who live in harms way daily fighting not only for our freedoms and other nations' freedoms but they are also fighting against terrorism.
I want to encourage and challenge each of you - go to a military base in your area or near you(we have 8 bases in NC) and attend a church service. You will be changed and it will change the way you pray for our troops.
Our prayers for them are being answered daily - daily they are finding Jesus and they are being changed.
Tomorrow is the 232nd Birthday of our Beloved America - wear Red, White, and Blue, fly your flag, pray a prayer of thanksgiving for our nation and cover our troops and their families who make the ultimate sacrifice for you and I daily.
God bless you all and may all Americans and our nation bless and honor God for has truly blessed America,
Linda Stone
NC State Coordinator - NDP
I want to share an experience I had this past weekend with you.
I attended a church service in the Chapel of Camp Lejeune - Marine Military Base in NC. It touched me deeply and brought me to tears.
To be in a service with our troops in their uniforms praising God with hands held high and voice ringing our to worship the God of the Universe was overwhelming. Then one Marine had a prayer request for his fiancée and then asked prayer for himself and his walk with Christ and desire to go deeper with God. I was more than blessed to be there.
Then I went to lunch with the Chaplain and his family - he had done 2 tours in Iraq - he was one of the first that went in at the beginning of the war and then another time.
He shared with me that the troops are hungry for God and seeking Jesus and when they find Him that become not just saved but solded out for Christ. And he sees them come and go alot on the base but when they return to the states they keep walking with Christ. They are truly changed with a deep desire to follow Jesus.
He said you do not hear this in the media but this is real and this is what is happening with our men and women who live in harms way daily fighting not only for our freedoms and other nations' freedoms but they are also fighting against terrorism.
I want to encourage and challenge each of you - go to a military base in your area or near you(we have 8 bases in NC) and attend a church service. You will be changed and it will change the way you pray for our troops.
Our prayers for them are being answered daily - daily they are finding Jesus and they are being changed.
Tomorrow is the 232nd Birthday of our Beloved America - wear Red, White, and Blue, fly your flag, pray a prayer of thanksgiving for our nation and cover our troops and their families who make the ultimate sacrifice for you and I daily.
God bless you all and may all Americans and our nation bless and honor God for has truly blessed America,
Linda Stone
NC State Coordinator - NDP
Friday, June 27, 2008
Pick of the week June 28, 2008
Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
Friday, June 20, 2008
pick of the week June 20, 08
Blind Bus Passenger
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind.
Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth that her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver,"Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For, although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe -- the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
God watches over us in just the same way. We may not know He is present. We may not be able to see His face, but He is there nonetheless. Be blessed in this thought: "God Loves You -- even when you are not looking."
Blind Bus Passenger
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind.
Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth that her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver,"Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For, although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe -- the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
God watches over us in just the same way. We may not know He is present. We may not be able to see His face, but He is there nonetheless. Be blessed in this thought: "God Loves You -- even when you are not looking."
Friday, June 13, 2008
Pick of the Week
What Makes A Dad
God took the Strength of a Mountain,
The Majesty of a tree,
The Warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of an eagle's filght.
The jou of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
The God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it....Dad.
Hapy Father's Day!
What Makes A Dad
God took the Strength of a Mountain,
The Majesty of a tree,
The Warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of an eagle's filght.
The jou of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
The God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it....Dad.
Hapy Father's Day!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
June 4, 2008
When God showed up on the softball field
A recent story in the New York Times by George Vecsey caught my attention. The Western Oregon women’s softball team played against Central Washington University in April of this year, and during the course of the game, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit the first home run of her college career. She missed first base, though, in all her excitement, as the first base coach yelled for her to come back. When she turned, to everyone’s horror, her right knee buckled. Crying and in intense pain, Tucholsky struggled to crawl back to first base. In the meantime, the umpire warned that if any of her teammates touched her, she would be called out, and if a pinch runner were brought in for her, the home run would be reduced to a single. That’s when the opposing team’s first baseman, Mallory Holtman, did something that shocked everyone. She turned to the umpire and said, "Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around the bases, and she touched each one?" The umpires agreed, so Holtman and teammate Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her to second base, where they gently lowered her and touched her foot to the bag. All three players started to giggle, Tucholsky through her tears, as they proceeded to third base. When they arrived at home plate, the crowd exploded with a standing ovation. Many in the stands were crying, even though it was a home game for Central Washington. Western Oregon went on to win the game, eliminating Central Washington from the playoffs.
After the game, Holtman said that her good deed was no big deal: "She hit it over the fence," Holtman said. "She deserved it. Anybody would have done it. I just beat them to it." She said her coach, Gary Frederick, teaches the team that "winning is not everything."
Pam Knox, the coach of the Western Oregon team, attributed it to character, saying, "They’re playing for a coach who instills it."
I don’t know about you, but hearing a story like that renews my hope. It reminds me that there are still coaches and teachers and parents out there who recognize a higher calling than just fielding a winning team. It also renews my faith that God is at work across this land. Don’t be confused by the fact that the Lord was not mentioned at all in that story and there is no indication that either the players or the coaches acknowledged faith in God. Perhaps none of them did. But what happened on the field that day was, as George Vecsey called it, "a moment of grace." A player for the losing team helped a player from the winning team increase their margin of victory. One who was in a position to benefit from leaving an opposing player in her place of weakness instead reached out and turned that weakness into strength. That is as clear a picture of God’s grace as he could have possibly painted for us that day.
We also were rounding first base in our attempt to make it home safely. But we stumbled in our sin; we fell and were absolutely unable to continue. The strong arms of God’s grace picked us up and carried us home, at his own expense. These arms belong to the one who was "wounded for our transgressions," the one who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Thank you, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace. You did more than help a fallen opponent. Your example helped us all.
J. Mark Fox is pastor of Antioch Community Church on Power Line Road in Elon. His books, "Real Life Moments: a Dad’s Devotional", and "Family-Integrated Church," are available at Amazon.com. E-mail Mark at markfox@antiochchurch.cc
When God showed up on the softball field
A recent story in the New York Times by George Vecsey caught my attention. The Western Oregon women’s softball team played against Central Washington University in April of this year, and during the course of the game, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit the first home run of her college career. She missed first base, though, in all her excitement, as the first base coach yelled for her to come back. When she turned, to everyone’s horror, her right knee buckled. Crying and in intense pain, Tucholsky struggled to crawl back to first base. In the meantime, the umpire warned that if any of her teammates touched her, she would be called out, and if a pinch runner were brought in for her, the home run would be reduced to a single. That’s when the opposing team’s first baseman, Mallory Holtman, did something that shocked everyone. She turned to the umpire and said, "Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around the bases, and she touched each one?" The umpires agreed, so Holtman and teammate Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her to second base, where they gently lowered her and touched her foot to the bag. All three players started to giggle, Tucholsky through her tears, as they proceeded to third base. When they arrived at home plate, the crowd exploded with a standing ovation. Many in the stands were crying, even though it was a home game for Central Washington. Western Oregon went on to win the game, eliminating Central Washington from the playoffs.
After the game, Holtman said that her good deed was no big deal: "She hit it over the fence," Holtman said. "She deserved it. Anybody would have done it. I just beat them to it." She said her coach, Gary Frederick, teaches the team that "winning is not everything."
Pam Knox, the coach of the Western Oregon team, attributed it to character, saying, "They’re playing for a coach who instills it."
I don’t know about you, but hearing a story like that renews my hope. It reminds me that there are still coaches and teachers and parents out there who recognize a higher calling than just fielding a winning team. It also renews my faith that God is at work across this land. Don’t be confused by the fact that the Lord was not mentioned at all in that story and there is no indication that either the players or the coaches acknowledged faith in God. Perhaps none of them did. But what happened on the field that day was, as George Vecsey called it, "a moment of grace." A player for the losing team helped a player from the winning team increase their margin of victory. One who was in a position to benefit from leaving an opposing player in her place of weakness instead reached out and turned that weakness into strength. That is as clear a picture of God’s grace as he could have possibly painted for us that day.
We also were rounding first base in our attempt to make it home safely. But we stumbled in our sin; we fell and were absolutely unable to continue. The strong arms of God’s grace picked us up and carried us home, at his own expense. These arms belong to the one who was "wounded for our transgressions," the one who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Thank you, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace. You did more than help a fallen opponent. Your example helped us all.
J. Mark Fox is pastor of Antioch Community Church on Power Line Road in Elon. His books, "Real Life Moments: a Dad’s Devotional", and "Family-Integrated Church," are available at Amazon.com. E-mail Mark at markfox@antiochchurch.cc
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Pick of the week 5/28/08
Good Day Wednesday Worders……….
Once again I find that it my time to share the Wednesday word and I don’t have anything in particular to say. So I bring back the CD Tower Shuffle………if you are unaware of how this works, it’s pretty simple. I spin the CD tower at my desk, Papa John Hill says STOP, and whatever CD my fingers lands on is the song in which the word will come from. With my varied taste of music ranging from Jim Brickman and Stryper, to Bryan Duncan and Brian Setzer…..you never know what you are going to get. Well, today, John picked out the song “For All We Know” from David Sanborn’s CD Pearls.
David Sanborn happens to be one of my favorite instrumental Jazz saxophone players. When I listen to the song “For All We Know” there just happen to be lyrics and sung very hauntingly by a lady named Jimmy Scott. She sings the opening line in the song that goes, “ For all we know, we may never meet again. Before you go, make this moment sweet again. We won’t say goodbye, until the last minute. I’ll hold out my hand, my heart will be in it…………..When I heard this line I had to stop the CD. My heart began to ache and tears flowed once again for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they grieve the loss of their daughter Maria Sue Chapman last week in a tragic accident in the family driveway.
Scripture tells us that we are not promised tomorrow and we must be ready to account for our life. Is there someone you’ve want to share to love of Jesus with, but for some reason you said…maybe tomorrow. Is there a friendship that drifted apart that you’ve wanted to get back but didn’t want to make the first attempt? Is there a child that you keep promising to spend more time with…..later…….and you really mean too, “For All You Know.” There has been a link setup that if you want to leave a message for the Chapman family or make a contribution to the Shaohannah’s Hope Foundation. I’m including that below. May God Keep, Protect and Bless you and your family, and we’ll do this again next week, for all we know.
Darren
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/
Good Day Wednesday Worders……….
Once again I find that it my time to share the Wednesday word and I don’t have anything in particular to say. So I bring back the CD Tower Shuffle………if you are unaware of how this works, it’s pretty simple. I spin the CD tower at my desk, Papa John Hill says STOP, and whatever CD my fingers lands on is the song in which the word will come from. With my varied taste of music ranging from Jim Brickman and Stryper, to Bryan Duncan and Brian Setzer…..you never know what you are going to get. Well, today, John picked out the song “For All We Know” from David Sanborn’s CD Pearls.
David Sanborn happens to be one of my favorite instrumental Jazz saxophone players. When I listen to the song “For All We Know” there just happen to be lyrics and sung very hauntingly by a lady named Jimmy Scott. She sings the opening line in the song that goes, “ For all we know, we may never meet again. Before you go, make this moment sweet again. We won’t say goodbye, until the last minute. I’ll hold out my hand, my heart will be in it…………..When I heard this line I had to stop the CD. My heart began to ache and tears flowed once again for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they grieve the loss of their daughter Maria Sue Chapman last week in a tragic accident in the family driveway.
Scripture tells us that we are not promised tomorrow and we must be ready to account for our life. Is there someone you’ve want to share to love of Jesus with, but for some reason you said…maybe tomorrow. Is there a friendship that drifted apart that you’ve wanted to get back but didn’t want to make the first attempt? Is there a child that you keep promising to spend more time with…..later…….and you really mean too, “For All You Know.” There has been a link setup that if you want to leave a message for the Chapman family or make a contribution to the Shaohannah’s Hope Foundation. I’m including that below. May God Keep, Protect and Bless you and your family, and we’ll do this again next week, for all we know.
Darren
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/
Friday, May 23, 2008
Pick of the week
Memorial Day 2008
Freedom Is Not Free
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it, and then
He stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.
I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!
Memorial Day 2008
Freedom Is Not Free
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it, and then
He stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.
I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
April 23, 2008
What's In Your Sponge?
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
What's In Your Sponge?
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Pick of the week
April 18, 2008
Pope and the Lord's Prayer
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?
"The Colonel says, "I need you to change the Lord's prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." The Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
This time the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." The Colonel hangs up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. "This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
April 18, 2008
Pope and the Lord's Prayer
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?
"The Colonel says, "I need you to change the Lord's prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." The Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
This time the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." The Colonel hangs up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. "This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
Friday, April 04, 2008
Pick of the Week
Tribute to Ric Flair April 4, 2008 D. Stevens
This past Sunday I watched one of my All Time Favorite Entertainers call it a career. For over 35 years he gave everything he had, every night, to make sure that the people who spent their hard earned money didn’t walk away disappointed. I myself have enjoyed watching this man perfect his craft on numerous occasions, but this past Sunday at Wrestlemania 24 was perhaps the hardest to watch, as it sinks in that neither my son nor I will get to watch Ric Flair wrestle again. Then to top that off, on Monday night’s TV Show, they wait til the very end and bring him out to the center ring and proceed to honor him by saying Thank You for all you gave. Today’s superstar wrestlers came out and hugged him, and even his fellow wrestlers from the past 35 years surprised him.
As I watched the tribute being given and felt a tear run down my face as I thought how great that had to feel at that moment to be Ric Flair. Then I started thinking about what it will be like when I have to walk away from Radio one day…..and wondering if I will have made that same kind of impact on just one person. Truth is, we may not get to have our tribute in the center ring, on primetime TV with millions watching. It may be like the Ray Boltz song where one day we see a long line of people in heaven who are waiting to say thank you for everything you gave, and how God used you to Bless them and you never even knew it!
So, from this day on…….it doesn’t matter what you have to give……entertainment in the squared circle or encouragement on the radio….just give God your very best and let him do the rest. Oh, and every once in a while it’s OK to throw your head back and let out a great big Whoooo Thank You Nature Boy!
Tribute to Ric Flair April 4, 2008 D. Stevens
This past Sunday I watched one of my All Time Favorite Entertainers call it a career. For over 35 years he gave everything he had, every night, to make sure that the people who spent their hard earned money didn’t walk away disappointed. I myself have enjoyed watching this man perfect his craft on numerous occasions, but this past Sunday at Wrestlemania 24 was perhaps the hardest to watch, as it sinks in that neither my son nor I will get to watch Ric Flair wrestle again. Then to top that off, on Monday night’s TV Show, they wait til the very end and bring him out to the center ring and proceed to honor him by saying Thank You for all you gave. Today’s superstar wrestlers came out and hugged him, and even his fellow wrestlers from the past 35 years surprised him.
As I watched the tribute being given and felt a tear run down my face as I thought how great that had to feel at that moment to be Ric Flair. Then I started thinking about what it will be like when I have to walk away from Radio one day…..and wondering if I will have made that same kind of impact on just one person. Truth is, we may not get to have our tribute in the center ring, on primetime TV with millions watching. It may be like the Ray Boltz song where one day we see a long line of people in heaven who are waiting to say thank you for everything you gave, and how God used you to Bless them and you never even knew it!
So, from this day on…….it doesn’t matter what you have to give……entertainment in the squared circle or encouragement on the radio….just give God your very best and let him do the rest. Oh, and every once in a while it’s OK to throw your head back and let out a great big Whoooo Thank You Nature Boy!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Pick of the week March 20, 2008
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
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