pick of the week June 20, 08
Blind Bus Passenger
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind.
Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth that her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver,"Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For, although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe -- the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
God watches over us in just the same way. We may not know He is present. We may not be able to see His face, but He is there nonetheless. Be blessed in this thought: "God Loves You -- even when you are not looking."
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Pick of the Week
What Makes A Dad
God took the Strength of a Mountain,
The Majesty of a tree,
The Warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of an eagle's filght.
The jou of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
The God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it....Dad.
Hapy Father's Day!
What Makes A Dad
God took the Strength of a Mountain,
The Majesty of a tree,
The Warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of an eagle's filght.
The jou of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
The God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it....Dad.
Hapy Father's Day!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
June 4, 2008
When God showed up on the softball field
A recent story in the New York Times by George Vecsey caught my attention. The Western Oregon women’s softball team played against Central Washington University in April of this year, and during the course of the game, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit the first home run of her college career. She missed first base, though, in all her excitement, as the first base coach yelled for her to come back. When she turned, to everyone’s horror, her right knee buckled. Crying and in intense pain, Tucholsky struggled to crawl back to first base. In the meantime, the umpire warned that if any of her teammates touched her, she would be called out, and if a pinch runner were brought in for her, the home run would be reduced to a single. That’s when the opposing team’s first baseman, Mallory Holtman, did something that shocked everyone. She turned to the umpire and said, "Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around the bases, and she touched each one?" The umpires agreed, so Holtman and teammate Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her to second base, where they gently lowered her and touched her foot to the bag. All three players started to giggle, Tucholsky through her tears, as they proceeded to third base. When they arrived at home plate, the crowd exploded with a standing ovation. Many in the stands were crying, even though it was a home game for Central Washington. Western Oregon went on to win the game, eliminating Central Washington from the playoffs.
After the game, Holtman said that her good deed was no big deal: "She hit it over the fence," Holtman said. "She deserved it. Anybody would have done it. I just beat them to it." She said her coach, Gary Frederick, teaches the team that "winning is not everything."
Pam Knox, the coach of the Western Oregon team, attributed it to character, saying, "They’re playing for a coach who instills it."
I don’t know about you, but hearing a story like that renews my hope. It reminds me that there are still coaches and teachers and parents out there who recognize a higher calling than just fielding a winning team. It also renews my faith that God is at work across this land. Don’t be confused by the fact that the Lord was not mentioned at all in that story and there is no indication that either the players or the coaches acknowledged faith in God. Perhaps none of them did. But what happened on the field that day was, as George Vecsey called it, "a moment of grace." A player for the losing team helped a player from the winning team increase their margin of victory. One who was in a position to benefit from leaving an opposing player in her place of weakness instead reached out and turned that weakness into strength. That is as clear a picture of God’s grace as he could have possibly painted for us that day.
We also were rounding first base in our attempt to make it home safely. But we stumbled in our sin; we fell and were absolutely unable to continue. The strong arms of God’s grace picked us up and carried us home, at his own expense. These arms belong to the one who was "wounded for our transgressions," the one who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Thank you, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace. You did more than help a fallen opponent. Your example helped us all.
J. Mark Fox is pastor of Antioch Community Church on Power Line Road in Elon. His books, "Real Life Moments: a Dad’s Devotional", and "Family-Integrated Church," are available at Amazon.com. E-mail Mark at markfox@antiochchurch.cc
When God showed up on the softball field
A recent story in the New York Times by George Vecsey caught my attention. The Western Oregon women’s softball team played against Central Washington University in April of this year, and during the course of the game, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit the first home run of her college career. She missed first base, though, in all her excitement, as the first base coach yelled for her to come back. When she turned, to everyone’s horror, her right knee buckled. Crying and in intense pain, Tucholsky struggled to crawl back to first base. In the meantime, the umpire warned that if any of her teammates touched her, she would be called out, and if a pinch runner were brought in for her, the home run would be reduced to a single. That’s when the opposing team’s first baseman, Mallory Holtman, did something that shocked everyone. She turned to the umpire and said, "Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around the bases, and she touched each one?" The umpires agreed, so Holtman and teammate Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her to second base, where they gently lowered her and touched her foot to the bag. All three players started to giggle, Tucholsky through her tears, as they proceeded to third base. When they arrived at home plate, the crowd exploded with a standing ovation. Many in the stands were crying, even though it was a home game for Central Washington. Western Oregon went on to win the game, eliminating Central Washington from the playoffs.
After the game, Holtman said that her good deed was no big deal: "She hit it over the fence," Holtman said. "She deserved it. Anybody would have done it. I just beat them to it." She said her coach, Gary Frederick, teaches the team that "winning is not everything."
Pam Knox, the coach of the Western Oregon team, attributed it to character, saying, "They’re playing for a coach who instills it."
I don’t know about you, but hearing a story like that renews my hope. It reminds me that there are still coaches and teachers and parents out there who recognize a higher calling than just fielding a winning team. It also renews my faith that God is at work across this land. Don’t be confused by the fact that the Lord was not mentioned at all in that story and there is no indication that either the players or the coaches acknowledged faith in God. Perhaps none of them did. But what happened on the field that day was, as George Vecsey called it, "a moment of grace." A player for the losing team helped a player from the winning team increase their margin of victory. One who was in a position to benefit from leaving an opposing player in her place of weakness instead reached out and turned that weakness into strength. That is as clear a picture of God’s grace as he could have possibly painted for us that day.
We also were rounding first base in our attempt to make it home safely. But we stumbled in our sin; we fell and were absolutely unable to continue. The strong arms of God’s grace picked us up and carried us home, at his own expense. These arms belong to the one who was "wounded for our transgressions," the one who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Thank you, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace. You did more than help a fallen opponent. Your example helped us all.
J. Mark Fox is pastor of Antioch Community Church on Power Line Road in Elon. His books, "Real Life Moments: a Dad’s Devotional", and "Family-Integrated Church," are available at Amazon.com. E-mail Mark at markfox@antiochchurch.cc
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Pick of the week 5/28/08
Good Day Wednesday Worders……….
Once again I find that it my time to share the Wednesday word and I don’t have anything in particular to say. So I bring back the CD Tower Shuffle………if you are unaware of how this works, it’s pretty simple. I spin the CD tower at my desk, Papa John Hill says STOP, and whatever CD my fingers lands on is the song in which the word will come from. With my varied taste of music ranging from Jim Brickman and Stryper, to Bryan Duncan and Brian Setzer…..you never know what you are going to get. Well, today, John picked out the song “For All We Know” from David Sanborn’s CD Pearls.
David Sanborn happens to be one of my favorite instrumental Jazz saxophone players. When I listen to the song “For All We Know” there just happen to be lyrics and sung very hauntingly by a lady named Jimmy Scott. She sings the opening line in the song that goes, “ For all we know, we may never meet again. Before you go, make this moment sweet again. We won’t say goodbye, until the last minute. I’ll hold out my hand, my heart will be in it…………..When I heard this line I had to stop the CD. My heart began to ache and tears flowed once again for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they grieve the loss of their daughter Maria Sue Chapman last week in a tragic accident in the family driveway.
Scripture tells us that we are not promised tomorrow and we must be ready to account for our life. Is there someone you’ve want to share to love of Jesus with, but for some reason you said…maybe tomorrow. Is there a friendship that drifted apart that you’ve wanted to get back but didn’t want to make the first attempt? Is there a child that you keep promising to spend more time with…..later…….and you really mean too, “For All You Know.” There has been a link setup that if you want to leave a message for the Chapman family or make a contribution to the Shaohannah’s Hope Foundation. I’m including that below. May God Keep, Protect and Bless you and your family, and we’ll do this again next week, for all we know.
Darren
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/
Good Day Wednesday Worders……….
Once again I find that it my time to share the Wednesday word and I don’t have anything in particular to say. So I bring back the CD Tower Shuffle………if you are unaware of how this works, it’s pretty simple. I spin the CD tower at my desk, Papa John Hill says STOP, and whatever CD my fingers lands on is the song in which the word will come from. With my varied taste of music ranging from Jim Brickman and Stryper, to Bryan Duncan and Brian Setzer…..you never know what you are going to get. Well, today, John picked out the song “For All We Know” from David Sanborn’s CD Pearls.
David Sanborn happens to be one of my favorite instrumental Jazz saxophone players. When I listen to the song “For All We Know” there just happen to be lyrics and sung very hauntingly by a lady named Jimmy Scott. She sings the opening line in the song that goes, “ For all we know, we may never meet again. Before you go, make this moment sweet again. We won’t say goodbye, until the last minute. I’ll hold out my hand, my heart will be in it…………..When I heard this line I had to stop the CD. My heart began to ache and tears flowed once again for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they grieve the loss of their daughter Maria Sue Chapman last week in a tragic accident in the family driveway.
Scripture tells us that we are not promised tomorrow and we must be ready to account for our life. Is there someone you’ve want to share to love of Jesus with, but for some reason you said…maybe tomorrow. Is there a friendship that drifted apart that you’ve wanted to get back but didn’t want to make the first attempt? Is there a child that you keep promising to spend more time with…..later…….and you really mean too, “For All You Know.” There has been a link setup that if you want to leave a message for the Chapman family or make a contribution to the Shaohannah’s Hope Foundation. I’m including that below. May God Keep, Protect and Bless you and your family, and we’ll do this again next week, for all we know.
Darren
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/
Friday, May 23, 2008
Pick of the week
Memorial Day 2008
Freedom Is Not Free
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it, and then
He stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.
I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!
Memorial Day 2008
Freedom Is Not Free
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it, and then
He stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.
I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
April 23, 2008
What's In Your Sponge?
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
What's In Your Sponge?
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Pick of the week
April 18, 2008
Pope and the Lord's Prayer
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?
"The Colonel says, "I need you to change the Lord's prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." The Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
This time the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." The Colonel hangs up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. "This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
April 18, 2008
Pope and the Lord's Prayer
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?
"The Colonel says, "I need you to change the Lord's prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." The Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
This time the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." The Colonel hangs up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. "This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
Friday, April 04, 2008
Pick of the Week
Tribute to Ric Flair April 4, 2008 D. Stevens
This past Sunday I watched one of my All Time Favorite Entertainers call it a career. For over 35 years he gave everything he had, every night, to make sure that the people who spent their hard earned money didn’t walk away disappointed. I myself have enjoyed watching this man perfect his craft on numerous occasions, but this past Sunday at Wrestlemania 24 was perhaps the hardest to watch, as it sinks in that neither my son nor I will get to watch Ric Flair wrestle again. Then to top that off, on Monday night’s TV Show, they wait til the very end and bring him out to the center ring and proceed to honor him by saying Thank You for all you gave. Today’s superstar wrestlers came out and hugged him, and even his fellow wrestlers from the past 35 years surprised him.
As I watched the tribute being given and felt a tear run down my face as I thought how great that had to feel at that moment to be Ric Flair. Then I started thinking about what it will be like when I have to walk away from Radio one day…..and wondering if I will have made that same kind of impact on just one person. Truth is, we may not get to have our tribute in the center ring, on primetime TV with millions watching. It may be like the Ray Boltz song where one day we see a long line of people in heaven who are waiting to say thank you for everything you gave, and how God used you to Bless them and you never even knew it!
So, from this day on…….it doesn’t matter what you have to give……entertainment in the squared circle or encouragement on the radio….just give God your very best and let him do the rest. Oh, and every once in a while it’s OK to throw your head back and let out a great big Whoooo Thank You Nature Boy!
Tribute to Ric Flair April 4, 2008 D. Stevens
This past Sunday I watched one of my All Time Favorite Entertainers call it a career. For over 35 years he gave everything he had, every night, to make sure that the people who spent their hard earned money didn’t walk away disappointed. I myself have enjoyed watching this man perfect his craft on numerous occasions, but this past Sunday at Wrestlemania 24 was perhaps the hardest to watch, as it sinks in that neither my son nor I will get to watch Ric Flair wrestle again. Then to top that off, on Monday night’s TV Show, they wait til the very end and bring him out to the center ring and proceed to honor him by saying Thank You for all you gave. Today’s superstar wrestlers came out and hugged him, and even his fellow wrestlers from the past 35 years surprised him.
As I watched the tribute being given and felt a tear run down my face as I thought how great that had to feel at that moment to be Ric Flair. Then I started thinking about what it will be like when I have to walk away from Radio one day…..and wondering if I will have made that same kind of impact on just one person. Truth is, we may not get to have our tribute in the center ring, on primetime TV with millions watching. It may be like the Ray Boltz song where one day we see a long line of people in heaven who are waiting to say thank you for everything you gave, and how God used you to Bless them and you never even knew it!
So, from this day on…….it doesn’t matter what you have to give……entertainment in the squared circle or encouragement on the radio….just give God your very best and let him do the rest. Oh, and every once in a while it’s OK to throw your head back and let out a great big Whoooo Thank You Nature Boy!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Pick of the week March 20, 2008
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
Monday, March 03, 2008
March 3, 2008
Message From A Mom To Her Child....
I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can buy you beautiful clothes,but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs,but I cannot say "no" for you.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of my life.... and I will.
Message From A Mom To Her Child....
I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can buy you beautiful clothes,but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs,but I cannot say "no" for you.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of my life.... and I will.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
February 27, 2008
Children's Bible in a Nutshell
A child was told to write a "book report" on the entire Bible. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching??? Through the eyes of a child . . . .
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his broth er as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Any way's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Children's Bible in a Nutshell
A child was told to write a "book report" on the entire Bible. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching??? Through the eyes of a child . . . .
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his broth er as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Any way's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
pick of the week for February 22, 2008
What is Within Your Clay Pot?
In the ancient world, pots made of clay were used to store
treasures—from documents to precious jewels. But jars of clay
were also used for far less noble purposes. There was no difference
between a pot that was used to hold gold and a pot that was used
for human waste.
The pot itself has no intrinsic value. It’s just a cheap, breakable,
replaceable container. The only worth a clay pot has is the worth of
what is contained inside it. Just as the power is not in the container
but in what it contains, the power is not in who you are but in whose
you are. The power is not in what you can do, but in the One who can
do all things through you.
Written by
Michael Youssef, Ph.D.
What is Within Your Clay Pot?
In the ancient world, pots made of clay were used to store
treasures—from documents to precious jewels. But jars of clay
were also used for far less noble purposes. There was no difference
between a pot that was used to hold gold and a pot that was used
for human waste.
The pot itself has no intrinsic value. It’s just a cheap, breakable,
replaceable container. The only worth a clay pot has is the worth of
what is contained inside it. Just as the power is not in the container
but in what it contains, the power is not in who you are but in whose
you are. The power is not in what you can do, but in the One who can
do all things through you.
Written by
Michael Youssef, Ph.D.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
February 12, 2008
The Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir is one of 12 high school choirs chosen to perform in the 2008 International Gospel Choir Olympics on Feb. 15 in New York City for a weekend gospel competition.
But those students and their choir director are still $2,000 short of expenses. Their choir director is Deon Clark and is a Smith graduate.
My "Something to ponder" today is what can you do to help make sure these students get the opportunity to Praise God and enjoy this honor that's been given to them.
Checks should be made out to Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir and can be dropped off at the school’s office, 2407 S. Holden Road, or picked up by calling 254-6502.
I'm sure each and every one of them would tell you Thank You for your help!
The Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir is one of 12 high school choirs chosen to perform in the 2008 International Gospel Choir Olympics on Feb. 15 in New York City for a weekend gospel competition.
But those students and their choir director are still $2,000 short of expenses. Their choir director is Deon Clark and is a Smith graduate.
My "Something to ponder" today is what can you do to help make sure these students get the opportunity to Praise God and enjoy this honor that's been given to them.
Checks should be made out to Ben L. Smith High School Gospel Choir and can be dropped off at the school’s office, 2407 S. Holden Road, or picked up by calling 254-6502.
I'm sure each and every one of them would tell you Thank You for your help!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Pick of the Week
February 8, 2008
The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy"
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"EXACTLY," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
February 8, 2008
The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy"
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"EXACTLY," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
February 4, 2008
Signs You Have a Cheap HMO Plan
Directions to the doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER."
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed "Joe the bartender."
The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is, "An apple a day."
Your "primary care physician" is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
"Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a misprint.
The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
Your pills come in different colors with "M" on them.
And the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO....
Your prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.
Signs You Have a Cheap HMO Plan
Directions to the doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER."
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed "Joe the bartender."
The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is, "An apple a day."
Your "primary care physician" is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
"Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a misprint.
The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
Your pills come in different colors with "M" on them.
And the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO....
Your prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
January 31, 2008
IMAGES OF MOTHER
4 years of age: -My mommy can do anything!
8 years of age: -My mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age: -My mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years of age: -Naturally, mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age: -Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age: -That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years of age: -Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age: -Before we decide, let's get mom's opinion.
45 years of age: -Wonder what mom would have thought about it?
65 years of age: -Wish I could talk it over with mom....
IMAGES OF MOTHER
4 years of age: -My mommy can do anything!
8 years of age: -My mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age: -My mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years of age: -Naturally, mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age: -Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age: -That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years of age: -Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age: -Before we decide, let's get mom's opinion.
45 years of age: -Wonder what mom would have thought about it?
65 years of age: -Wish I could talk it over with mom....
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
January 29, 2008
I Forgot My Security System
A horrible thing happened to me today. A thief broke into my house. It happened shortly after I awoke this morning. I got up and began rushing about. I had a thousand things on my list and was already running behind. Quickly, I gulped down breakfast, took a shower and got ready for work. In my rush, I forgot to turn the security system on at my house. It was just about a half an hour later that the thief broke in.
Of course, he didn't make a sound. Just kind of snuck inside, not drawing any attention to himself. In fact, none of the neighbors ever saw him. But, I did. You see, I WAS HOME when the thief broke in. He naturally startled me, as I was unprepared for his visit. He, of course, didn't announce that he was coming and I certainly had not invited him over. And yet, I found myself face to face with danger and I felt so powerless. I also felt so very stupid, because this whole incident could have been avoided if I had just taken the time to turn the security system on. You better believe I'll be turning it on tomorrow morning! I thought I'd warn you about this guy, because he's still on the loose.
Chances are, he's in your area. Possibly even headed for your house. His name? Satan.
You see, this morning when I jumped up in my haste to get started on my busy day, I skipped my prayer time ~ opting to "pray later today." In other words, I DIDN'T TURN ON THE SECURITY SYSTEM. My defense wasn't on, my guard was dropped . . . and when the thief came into my home to attack me, I was unprepared to do battle. He tempted me and I felt powerless. Like I said, I also felt so very stupid, because I could have avoided the incident if I had just taken the time to pray.
My friend, the thief has come to "steal, kill and destroy." And, as a Child of God, you are on his "hit list." He'll probably pop over to your house today. He may be lurking outside your door right now, just waiting to catch you off guard. Take time to pray in the morning. Ask God to protect you and empower you to do battle. In short, don't forget to turn your security system on.
I Forgot My Security System
A horrible thing happened to me today. A thief broke into my house. It happened shortly after I awoke this morning. I got up and began rushing about. I had a thousand things on my list and was already running behind. Quickly, I gulped down breakfast, took a shower and got ready for work. In my rush, I forgot to turn the security system on at my house. It was just about a half an hour later that the thief broke in.
Of course, he didn't make a sound. Just kind of snuck inside, not drawing any attention to himself. In fact, none of the neighbors ever saw him. But, I did. You see, I WAS HOME when the thief broke in. He naturally startled me, as I was unprepared for his visit. He, of course, didn't announce that he was coming and I certainly had not invited him over. And yet, I found myself face to face with danger and I felt so powerless. I also felt so very stupid, because this whole incident could have been avoided if I had just taken the time to turn the security system on. You better believe I'll be turning it on tomorrow morning! I thought I'd warn you about this guy, because he's still on the loose.
Chances are, he's in your area. Possibly even headed for your house. His name? Satan.
You see, this morning when I jumped up in my haste to get started on my busy day, I skipped my prayer time ~ opting to "pray later today." In other words, I DIDN'T TURN ON THE SECURITY SYSTEM. My defense wasn't on, my guard was dropped . . . and when the thief came into my home to attack me, I was unprepared to do battle. He tempted me and I felt powerless. Like I said, I also felt so very stupid, because I could have avoided the incident if I had just taken the time to pray.
My friend, the thief has come to "steal, kill and destroy." And, as a Child of God, you are on his "hit list." He'll probably pop over to your house today. He may be lurking outside your door right now, just waiting to catch you off guard. Take time to pray in the morning. Ask God to protect you and empower you to do battle. In short, don't forget to turn your security system on.
Monday, January 28, 2008
January 28, 2008
Five Balls
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family - Health - Friends - Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Five Balls
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family - Health - Friends - Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Ponder of the week January 26, 2008
Sleeping in Church
A man is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring he finally nods off.
The pastor has been watching him all along, and is getting upset. At the end of the sermon, the pastor decides to make an example of him.
He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And those who would like to find a place in hell, PLEASE STAND UP!"
The weary man, catching only the last part, groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, pastor, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing up for it!"
Sleeping in Church
A man is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring he finally nods off.
The pastor has been watching him all along, and is getting upset. At the end of the sermon, the pastor decides to make an example of him.
He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And those who would like to find a place in hell, PLEASE STAND UP!"
The weary man, catching only the last part, groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, pastor, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing up for it!"
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