Monday August 6, 2007

Fractured Dictionary


Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.


Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.


Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.


Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.


Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.


Control \kon-trol'\: A short, ugly inmate.


Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.


Eclipse \i-klips'\: what an English barber does for a living.


Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist.


Heroes \hee'-rhos\: what a guy in a boat does.


Left Bank \left' bangk'\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.


Misty \mis'-tee\: How some golfers create divots.


Paradox \par'-uh-doks\: two physicians.


Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.


Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm.


Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: what penguins see with.


Primate \pri'-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.


Relief \ree-leef'\: what trees do in the spring.


Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife.


Seamstress \seem'-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six.


Selfish \sel'-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does.


Subdued \sub-dood'\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.


Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government.