June 11, 2009
Did you hear about the lady in Jerusalem who hid her life savings in her mattress? Her family decided to surprise her with a new mattress to replace her old one and threw out the old one with the trash not knowing the fortune inside. Can you imagine how horrible they felt when they found out?
This morning we spoke with an incredible speaker who will be in town this weekend……David Ring. One of the things he said is incredible. God never says “oops.” While our children may have their accidents around the house, and we may fall short of our expectations or forget something important, or have something terrible happen to us….there is nothing that will ever happen that God isn’t a part of. After all….God never says “oops.”
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday June 10, 2009
Johnny Strange is a senior in high school in Malibu, Calif., has become the youngest person to scale the tallest peaks on each of the world's seven continents. He completed his final summit climb on June 8 when he scaled Australia's 7,310-foot Mount Kosciuszko. He broke the record of Samantha Larson of Long Beach, Calif., who was 18 when she finished the seven summits challenge in 2007. Johnny has been climbing mountains since he was 12. Here is a 17 year old who has accomplished what to most would be an impossible task not once….but 7 times!
So, what is it that you keep telling yourself is impossible? Going back to school? Getting another job? Losing some weight? Stop smoking? Forgiving someone or even being forgiven yourself???
Matthew 19:26 and Mark 10:27 ...says…
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
When I hear of a 17 year old climbing the tallest mountains on 7 different continents, I believe that with God, all things are possible.
What will you let go of and put in His hands today?
Johnny Strange is a senior in high school in Malibu, Calif., has become the youngest person to scale the tallest peaks on each of the world's seven continents. He completed his final summit climb on June 8 when he scaled Australia's 7,310-foot Mount Kosciuszko. He broke the record of Samantha Larson of Long Beach, Calif., who was 18 when she finished the seven summits challenge in 2007. Johnny has been climbing mountains since he was 12. Here is a 17 year old who has accomplished what to most would be an impossible task not once….but 7 times!
So, what is it that you keep telling yourself is impossible? Going back to school? Getting another job? Losing some weight? Stop smoking? Forgiving someone or even being forgiven yourself???
Matthew 19:26 and Mark 10:27 ...says…
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
When I hear of a 17 year old climbing the tallest mountains on 7 different continents, I believe that with God, all things are possible.
What will you let go of and put in His hands today?
Monday, June 08, 2009
Monday June 8th, 2009
The Finish Line
Have you ever seen a runner get to the end of a Marathon, and quit? Of course not……no matter how tired, hurting or ready to give up they may feel, once they see that finish line they get that last charge to see them through.
The same can be said for all our Graduates this week, their year may have dragged along for 35 weeks, today they can finally see the finish line and I’d imagine that this will be one of their best weeks of the year!
How about you? What is it that you are getting caught up in the middle of today? What is it that has you ready to give up and say I Quit! Ponder this…..I remember a certain garden…….where Jesus was able to see His finish line and he cried out…”Father, isn’t there some other way? Yet not my will, but Thine be done.” Jesus crossed his finish line and overcame death and the grave….and because he did, we can share in the Celebration!
Keep your head looking up, and keep your eyes on the Finish line…….and may the celebration you enjoy be Awesome!
The Finish Line
Have you ever seen a runner get to the end of a Marathon, and quit? Of course not……no matter how tired, hurting or ready to give up they may feel, once they see that finish line they get that last charge to see them through.
The same can be said for all our Graduates this week, their year may have dragged along for 35 weeks, today they can finally see the finish line and I’d imagine that this will be one of their best weeks of the year!
How about you? What is it that you are getting caught up in the middle of today? What is it that has you ready to give up and say I Quit! Ponder this…..I remember a certain garden…….where Jesus was able to see His finish line and he cried out…”Father, isn’t there some other way? Yet not my will, but Thine be done.” Jesus crossed his finish line and overcame death and the grave….and because he did, we can share in the Celebration!
Keep your head looking up, and keep your eyes on the Finish line…….and may the celebration you enjoy be Awesome!
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
FREE Chocolate Fridays!!!!!!
I am very excited about Real Chocolate Relief & Free Chocolate Fridays....What is Real Chocolate Relief? Times are tough and we at Mars want to help. How, you ask? Every Friday through September, Mars will give away FREE* real chocolate to 250,000 people. To sign up visit ..... https://secure.realchocolate.com/default.aspx
I am very excited about Real Chocolate Relief & Free Chocolate Fridays....What is Real Chocolate Relief? Times are tough and we at Mars want to help. How, you ask? Every Friday through September, Mars will give away FREE* real chocolate to 250,000 people. To sign up visit ..... https://secure.realchocolate.com/default.aspx
Monday, June 01, 2009
Monday June 1st 2009
Why do we procrastinate? Is it just human nature?
My daughter Hannah is going to be heading to middle school next year and she already knows that there are some shots she’ll have to get before going next year. This weekend I heard her say can I wait and get them right before school starts? I told her she should go ahead and get them over with and enjoy her summer.
Then we went to the pool and she jumped right in even though the water was cold and started having fun…while I slowly waded into the pool trying to not get fully wet as long as possible, when Hannah looked at me and said, why don’t you just go under and get it over with so you can play with us?
Funny isn’t it when our words are thrown back at us……..do you know what I did? I counted down from 5 to 1 and went under and screamed my head off.
Then I had fun with my kids for 4 hours…….
So what are you putting off? A mission trip? Volunteering for VBS this summer, losing weight? To use a line from my favorite artist Steven Curtis Chapman, why don’t you just “Dive” in. Once you get that first step over with, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
Why do we procrastinate? Is it just human nature?
My daughter Hannah is going to be heading to middle school next year and she already knows that there are some shots she’ll have to get before going next year. This weekend I heard her say can I wait and get them right before school starts? I told her she should go ahead and get them over with and enjoy her summer.
Then we went to the pool and she jumped right in even though the water was cold and started having fun…while I slowly waded into the pool trying to not get fully wet as long as possible, when Hannah looked at me and said, why don’t you just go under and get it over with so you can play with us?
Funny isn’t it when our words are thrown back at us……..do you know what I did? I counted down from 5 to 1 and went under and screamed my head off.
Then I had fun with my kids for 4 hours…….
So what are you putting off? A mission trip? Volunteering for VBS this summer, losing weight? To use a line from my favorite artist Steven Curtis Chapman, why don’t you just “Dive” in. Once you get that first step over with, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
Friday, May 29, 2009
All I ever needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten
from "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten : Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things" by Robert Fulghum
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.
These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are food for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.
And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put thing back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
from "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten : Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things" by Robert Fulghum
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.
These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are food for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.
And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put thing back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Pick of the week April 25, 2009
Hooked On Giving
Dr. Mar Aprem of the ancient Chaldean Orthodox Church of the East in India tells a funny story about when a member of the church won a lottery worth 100,000 rupees. His wife went to the bishop and told him that she was afraid to tell this glad news to her husband because he had a heart problem and any sudden excitement could cause a heart attack.
The bishop offered to break the news gently to her husband. He visited the house and asked the man, "Wouldn't it be a good thing if you won 1,000 rupees in the lottery?" The man replied that he still would have to work to support his family.
"What about 10,000 rupees?" the bishop asked. The man still showed no excitement, so the bishop carefully raised the amount to 50,000 and finally to 100,000 rupees.
"If I got 100,000 rupees, I would give half of it to you, your Excellency," the man replied.
The bishop had a heart attack, and the man called an ambulance.
We can get excited about winning and getting. But have you learned how fun it is to give -- and not only money? Engineering and machinery genius R. G. LeTourneau (1888 - 1969) discovered the great joy that can come of generosity. Besides establishing a private school (today's LeTourneau University), that remarkable man reportedly gave 90 percent of his income to worthwhile causes, while living on the remaining 10 percent. He became hooked on giving!
And like I said, money is not the only commodity that is fun to give. We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love or simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us can ever run out of something worthwhile to give.
Giving is fun. And addictive.
Hooked On Giving
Dr. Mar Aprem of the ancient Chaldean Orthodox Church of the East in India tells a funny story about when a member of the church won a lottery worth 100,000 rupees. His wife went to the bishop and told him that she was afraid to tell this glad news to her husband because he had a heart problem and any sudden excitement could cause a heart attack.
The bishop offered to break the news gently to her husband. He visited the house and asked the man, "Wouldn't it be a good thing if you won 1,000 rupees in the lottery?" The man replied that he still would have to work to support his family.
"What about 10,000 rupees?" the bishop asked. The man still showed no excitement, so the bishop carefully raised the amount to 50,000 and finally to 100,000 rupees.
"If I got 100,000 rupees, I would give half of it to you, your Excellency," the man replied.
The bishop had a heart attack, and the man called an ambulance.
We can get excited about winning and getting. But have you learned how fun it is to give -- and not only money? Engineering and machinery genius R. G. LeTourneau (1888 - 1969) discovered the great joy that can come of generosity. Besides establishing a private school (today's LeTourneau University), that remarkable man reportedly gave 90 percent of his income to worthwhile causes, while living on the remaining 10 percent. He became hooked on giving!
And like I said, money is not the only commodity that is fun to give. We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love or simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us can ever run out of something worthwhile to give.
Giving is fun. And addictive.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
RESURRECTION ROLLS
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM!
GOOD LUCK AND WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
INGREDIENTS..... CRESCENT DINNER ROLLS
MELTED BUTTER / SOFT MARGARINE
CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE
LARGE MARSHMALLOWS
PREHEAT OVEN ACCORDING TO DINNER ROLLS.
TAKE INDIVIDUAL DINNER ROLLS (THEY REPRESENT JESUS’ TOMB)
THEN SPREAD THE MELTED BUTTER / MARGARINE (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING OIL) ON ROLLS.
NEXT, PLACE MARSHMALLOW (REPRESENTING JESUS) IN THE ROLL.
SPRINKLE WITH THE CINNAMON / SUGAR MIXTURE. (REPRESENTING THE ANOINTING SPICES USED IN BURIAL)
WRAP MARSHMALLOW TIGHTLY IN THE ROLL. (REPRESENTING WRAPPING JESUS IN THE TOMB)
MAKE SURE TO LEAVE NO CRACKS OPEN.....SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE!
BAKE ACCORDING TO CRESCENT ROLL DIRECTIONS.
THE TOMBS WILL BE OPEN AND EMPTY AS THE MARSHMALLOW MELTS, CREATING A DELICIOUS TREAT!
THIS REALLY WORKS! WE MADE THEM AS A FAMILY RECENTLY AND THE CHILDREN ENJOYED MAKING THEM!
GOOD LUCK AND WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VISUAL STORY AS MUCH AS WE DID.
SINCERELY,
THE STEVENS FAMILY
Thursday, April 09, 2009
April 9, 2009
*Unique Breakfast*
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
"What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked.
"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like, then?"
"Just bring me a hard boiled egg," the man replied.
*Unique Breakfast*
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
"What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked.
"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like, then?"
"Just bring me a hard boiled egg," the man replied.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
April 2, 2009
Alright, let’s play make the connection. I’ll give you 3 things, and you tell me what they have in common. Here’s an example,Baseball, Credit & Greeting. The answer….they are all “cards.” Now this one’s a little more difficult, A sunrise, a sunset And your children. I told you this one was tougher…….the answer is “the time you have to enjoy them is very short.”
I got to thinking about this when I was watching some home video that was shot on my family’s recent beach trip. I’m an early riser because of my job and even when on vacation, I still get up early. While enjoying some coffee and devotions, I video taped a sunrise and while I was watching it back, I noticed that it took only 2 ½ minutes from the time the top part shown over the horizon, til the bottom part was fully seen. The same can be said about the beauty in a sunset and I’m sure I don’t have to mention how quickly our children grow!
My oldest daughter Hannah just turned 11 and said last weekend, “Dad,in five more years I’ll be driving!” She was excited, and I was nearly heartbroken thinking it seemed like yesterday I was driving her home from the hospital. So, today I challenge you to slow down and take a look at your priorities. Don’t allow yourself to get so busy you don’t notice the artwork that God creates especially for you to start and end the day and all the joy that your children can provide in between. After all, that time is gone in the blink of an eye!
Darren
Alright, let’s play make the connection. I’ll give you 3 things, and you tell me what they have in common. Here’s an example,Baseball, Credit & Greeting. The answer….they are all “cards.” Now this one’s a little more difficult, A sunrise, a sunset And your children. I told you this one was tougher…….the answer is “the time you have to enjoy them is very short.”
I got to thinking about this when I was watching some home video that was shot on my family’s recent beach trip. I’m an early riser because of my job and even when on vacation, I still get up early. While enjoying some coffee and devotions, I video taped a sunrise and while I was watching it back, I noticed that it took only 2 ½ minutes from the time the top part shown over the horizon, til the bottom part was fully seen. The same can be said about the beauty in a sunset and I’m sure I don’t have to mention how quickly our children grow!
My oldest daughter Hannah just turned 11 and said last weekend, “Dad,in five more years I’ll be driving!” She was excited, and I was nearly heartbroken thinking it seemed like yesterday I was driving her home from the hospital. So, today I challenge you to slow down and take a look at your priorities. Don’t allow yourself to get so busy you don’t notice the artwork that God creates especially for you to start and end the day and all the joy that your children can provide in between. After all, that time is gone in the blink of an eye!
Darren
Friday, March 27, 2009
March 27, 2009
Real Mothers
Real mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and happy kids.
Real mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpet.
Real mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best."
Real mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade... it is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...
Real Mothers
Real mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and happy kids.
Real mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpet.
Real mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best."
Real mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade... it is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...
Monday, March 23, 2009
March 23, 2009
English Is Tough Stuff
Multinational personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
English Is Tough Stuff
Multinational personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Pick of the week
February 20, 2009
Why Did Jesus Fold the Napkin?
This is one I can honestly say I have never seen circulating in the
emails so; if it touches you, you may want to forward it.
Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection?
I never noticed this....
The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed
over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.
The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly
folded, and was placed separate from the grave clothes.
Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to
the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.
She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom
Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the
tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!'
Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other
disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in
and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.
Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen
wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head
was folded up and lying to the side.
Was that important? Absolutely!
Is it really significant? Yes!
In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you
have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of
that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and
every Jewish boy knew this tradition.
When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure
that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.
The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait,
just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the
servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.
Now if the master was done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe
his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that
napkin and toss it onto the table.
The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the
wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.
But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and
laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table,
because............
The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!'
He is Coming Back!
February 20, 2009
Why Did Jesus Fold the Napkin?
This is one I can honestly say I have never seen circulating in the
emails so; if it touches you, you may want to forward it.
Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection?
I never noticed this....
The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed
over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.
The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly
folded, and was placed separate from the grave clothes.
Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to
the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.
She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom
Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the
tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!'
Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other
disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in
and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.
Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen
wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head
was folded up and lying to the side.
Was that important? Absolutely!
Is it really significant? Yes!
In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you
have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of
that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and
every Jewish boy knew this tradition.
When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure
that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.
The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait,
just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the
servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.
Now if the master was done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe
his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that
napkin and toss it onto the table.
The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the
wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.
But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and
laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table,
because............
The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!'
He is Coming Back!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
February 11, 2009
Quilt Of Holes
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along With all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; An angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a Tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged And empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each Square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the Challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw Hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole Here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the Bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was Disheartened.
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and Empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the Light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, And nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly Fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been Trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my World, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with The temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and Begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and Guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured Painfully, each time offering it U p to the Father in hopes that I would Not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly Judged Me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to Accept it for what it was.
I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.
An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who Stared at me with wide eyes.
Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, Creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with Warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life To Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.
Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine Through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'
May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine Through!
Quilt Of Holes
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along With all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; An angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a Tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged And empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each Square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the Challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw Hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole Here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the Bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was Disheartened.
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and Empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the Light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, And nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly Fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been Trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my World, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with The temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and Begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and Guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured Painfully, each time offering it U p to the Father in hopes that I would Not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly Judged Me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to Accept it for what it was.
I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.
An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who Stared at me with wide eyes.
Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, Creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with Warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life To Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.
Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine Through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'
May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine Through!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Valentinus, Gift of Love
This is the fascinating story of the priest, St. Valentine. According to history, Valentinus (the Latin form) was thrown into a dungeon. Although his jailer, Asterius, was not harsh, the priest lived with only the bare necessities. His one comfort while in prison was his friendship with Asterius' blind daughter. She befriended the kindly priest by bringing him food and delivering messages. After a year in jail, Valentinus was summoned to appear before Claudius II. The emperor was so impressed by the young priest's dignity that Claudius attempted to convert him from Christianity to save him from execution.
Valentinus, however, refused and was ordered to be beaten with clubs, stoned and executed. In the last days of his life, Valentinus, through his faith, restored the sight of the jailer's daughter. He also converted Asterius and the girl to his faith.
On the eve of his execution the priest wrote a farewell message to the girl and signed it 'From Your Valentine.' His execution was carried out on Feb 14, 269 A.D in Rome. According to legend, a pink almond tree, a symbol of friendship and affection shared each anniversary of the priest's execution marks Valentine's Day.
Although, thought to be a day for lovers, Valentine's Day is actually a day to profess your love and affection for anyone. It is a time to renew and strengthen the friendship and relationship shared. Happy Valentine's everyone. Have a lovely loving day!
Valentinus, Gift of Love
This is the fascinating story of the priest, St. Valentine. According to history, Valentinus (the Latin form) was thrown into a dungeon. Although his jailer, Asterius, was not harsh, the priest lived with only the bare necessities. His one comfort while in prison was his friendship with Asterius' blind daughter. She befriended the kindly priest by bringing him food and delivering messages. After a year in jail, Valentinus was summoned to appear before Claudius II. The emperor was so impressed by the young priest's dignity that Claudius attempted to convert him from Christianity to save him from execution.
Valentinus, however, refused and was ordered to be beaten with clubs, stoned and executed. In the last days of his life, Valentinus, through his faith, restored the sight of the jailer's daughter. He also converted Asterius and the girl to his faith.
On the eve of his execution the priest wrote a farewell message to the girl and signed it 'From Your Valentine.' His execution was carried out on Feb 14, 269 A.D in Rome. According to legend, a pink almond tree, a symbol of friendship and affection shared each anniversary of the priest's execution marks Valentine's Day.
Although, thought to be a day for lovers, Valentine's Day is actually a day to profess your love and affection for anyone. It is a time to renew and strengthen the friendship and relationship shared. Happy Valentine's everyone. Have a lovely loving day!
Friday, February 06, 2009
First Kiss
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease? . . ."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease? . . ."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"
Friday, January 30, 2009
January 30, 2008
Recipe For A Miracle
1 cup Tension
2 cups Stress
1 teaspoon of Guilt
2 heaping cups of Limited Time
3/4 tablespoon of Urgency
A dash of "No Other Choice"
3 heaping cups of Faith
Fold ingredients gently into a bowl. Mix vigorously and add a few tears. You'll sweat a little as you knead the dough.
Pack it firmly between your hopes and dreams and form into a perfect little ball.
Sprinkle it with a little faith (I recommend Hebrews 11), rolling the ball in the flour until fully covered.
Place it under a veil of belief and allow it to rise.
Put it in an oven that has been pre-set at the perfect temperature for the heat of trials and tribulations.
Allow it to brown under the warmth of God's love. Remove after due season and allow to cool in the confidence of His promise.
Garnish with your praises. Arrange neatly on a platter of thankfulness and serve to friends, families and, oh yes, strangers . . . invite them too!
Pass on the recipe to all who request it and let them know that with this recipe, they have the makings of a miracle!
Recipe For A Miracle
1 cup Tension
2 cups Stress
1 teaspoon of Guilt
2 heaping cups of Limited Time
3/4 tablespoon of Urgency
A dash of "No Other Choice"
3 heaping cups of Faith
Fold ingredients gently into a bowl. Mix vigorously and add a few tears. You'll sweat a little as you knead the dough.
Pack it firmly between your hopes and dreams and form into a perfect little ball.
Sprinkle it with a little faith (I recommend Hebrews 11), rolling the ball in the flour until fully covered.
Place it under a veil of belief and allow it to rise.
Put it in an oven that has been pre-set at the perfect temperature for the heat of trials and tribulations.
Allow it to brown under the warmth of God's love. Remove after due season and allow to cool in the confidence of His promise.
Garnish with your praises. Arrange neatly on a platter of thankfulness and serve to friends, families and, oh yes, strangers . . . invite them too!
Pass on the recipe to all who request it and let them know that with this recipe, they have the makings of a miracle!
Friday, January 23, 2009
January 23, 2009
Classroom Justice
The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor was not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a "walk" and the students were free to leave - with no penalties for missing a class.
The class rooms were equipped with the type wall clocks that "jumped" ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. As it turned out, these clocks were also not of the most sophisticated construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause the clock to "jump" ahead 1 minute.
It became almost daily practice for students to take target practice at the clock - since this particular professor was not the most punctual, and many of the students considered him severely "absent-minded." A few well aimed erasers, and lo and behold, 15 minutes passed on the clock, and class dismissed itself.
Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told the students "You have 1 hour on-the-clock to complete the exam."
The professor then proceeded to collect all the erasers from around the room he could find, and then gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had successfully "jumped" the clock forward 1 hour, he closed the exam and collected all the exam papers.
Classroom Justice
The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor was not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a "walk" and the students were free to leave - with no penalties for missing a class.
The class rooms were equipped with the type wall clocks that "jumped" ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. As it turned out, these clocks were also not of the most sophisticated construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause the clock to "jump" ahead 1 minute.
It became almost daily practice for students to take target practice at the clock - since this particular professor was not the most punctual, and many of the students considered him severely "absent-minded." A few well aimed erasers, and lo and behold, 15 minutes passed on the clock, and class dismissed itself.
Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told the students "You have 1 hour on-the-clock to complete the exam."
The professor then proceeded to collect all the erasers from around the room he could find, and then gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had successfully "jumped" the clock forward 1 hour, he closed the exam and collected all the exam papers.
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